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Please tell me I wont always feel like this.

(12 Posts)
katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 05:48:56

I have been on my own since saturday when dh left. I caught him out. He has been having an affair. He has left to be with her and I feel so sad. Please tell me I wont feel like this for ever. I cant bear it

katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 06:14:19

I am starting to panic. My biggest worry at the moment is that he will want to take the kids out and she may be there. Can I say I dont want him to do this or do I just have to put up with it. Its all so raw and I cant bear the thought of her being with my dc after all the lies and deciet.

turquoisenights Mon 09-Jul-07 06:25:32

can you tell him that you and yr dc need some time to get used to the situation.
i think it can be shock for yr dc to seen someone new so soon, maybe he can understand.

SurferRosa Mon 09-Jul-07 07:11:23

Katherine, huge hugs to you and your children, how appalling. I can't imagine how bad you must feel, it is all very new and I would imagine it would be a very cruel man who would make you face a situation such as his new woman being around your kids so soon after a shock like that.

I can't advise but I wish you some peace of mind in dealing with this, please try not to panic, it is early days.


katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 07:38:26

I havent spoken to him yet. Its just its all going round my head. I cant think about anything else. I just cant bear it. I know I have to move on but I just love him so much. I believe marriage is for life and I always thought he believed the same.

mojosmum Mon 09-Jul-07 08:56:45

Katherinez - you dont have to let the kids see her yet its not fair on them you wont always feel like this it is hard & at times it gets harder but you are doing the right thing you h has let you down he is the one in the wrong & you & your kids deserve better

good luck keep smiling even if at the moment its only for the childrens sake

katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 10:27:19

Thankyou mojosmum. I am trying.

wirral Mon 09-Jul-07 11:22:56

Poor you. This is the worst time. It will get better. I empathise with you totally and remember how horrible things were when my husband left. Try not to worry yourself unnecessarily. Don't worry about you child seeing the girlfriend. This doesn't have to happen if you don't want it to. My experience has taught me that sometimes I worry too much about things that aren't necessarily ever going to happen.

Keep your chin up. This is the worst time and it will get easier

katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 11:24:48

Thanks W. I know it is early days. Am still hoping and praying he will come home.

Wisteria Mon 09-Jul-07 11:29:46

How rotten for you, it'll be a difficult time for a while but it will get better.
Try to keep as busy as possible and throw yourself into whatever you can find to do.

I think their Dad owes it to your children to keep things simple for a while, and come and see them on his own - they won't appreciate seeing 'the other woman'. He needs to accept that he has upset their world as well as yours so they need to come first before his feelings.

Thinking of you x

katherinez Mon 09-Jul-07 11:46:55

Yes W. We have to think of them first. And that is his responsiblity as well as mine. Day by day I guess.

glitterfairy Mon 09-Jul-07 11:47:14

He may need to accept it but my experience is that he wont. However here the courts were my friend and told my x that my kids could not see the new gf who he said he would marry to the kids 8 weeks after leaving home just before christmas.

If your dh is a reasonable man he wont pressure them and will be patient. I really hope so for both you and your kids sake. It is a truly awful situation and I am thinking of you.

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