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Going to court for first time

(8 Posts)
Gcemb2404 Sun 03-Mar-19 11:53:56

Just after some advice i will be going to court for the first time and wont have a solicitor as u cant afford it. At the first one is residency granted too?? Will caffcass be involved from the get go? Do i put my side across and say what i want for our son. Ive done the court process many years ago but alot has changed and my solicitor at the time dealt with it all.
My ex is abusive ive had support off womens aid and my loacal dometic abuse department, they made me realise that all the things he did/does are not how i should be treated. He uses contact to control me threatening taking our son if u dont pick him up, sending nasty messages calling me all the names under the sun, i stopped contact 5 weeks ago as he kept changing days and times and doing what he wanted, saying "ill be there when i get there" i want routine for my son to feel safe not upheaval every few days.
Any advice would be appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
2018anewstart Mon 04-Mar-19 00:01:29

First court appearance they take you into court for 5 mins to explain procedure. Then you and partner speak to cafcass officer in another room. You can request to go in a different room from partner. You can put over your side of the story. (They don't really listen!) Then you go back into court if no agreement reached they set date for another hearing.

2018anewstart Mon 04-Mar-19 00:01:58

Good luck by the way. Xx

Gcemb2404 Mon 04-Mar-19 11:43:49

Ok thanks for the info. I will definately not be going in the same room as him. He wont agree i know he wont but thats his problem

OP’s posts: |
Mami16 Mon 04-Mar-19 11:52:22

Going through exactly the same. Ex wants 50/50 custody of 2 year old and newborn.
Ex has been very controlling and has been a horrible breakup, he's claiming he's a victim of domestic abuse when it's the other way round. He was never there when it was just DS but now we have split up and have a DD he wants to be dad of the year and is very bitter because we won't go back to him, but after phoning the police and social services on me (while I was 6 months pregnant) I will never go back to him. Oh and his lies and cheating!

We have a joint mortgage and he basically forced me out of our home because of his behaviour, threats, shouting and swearing. He is now refusing to sell and we are cramped in my parents house. Great dad hey!

In court tomorrow and dreading it.

Gcemb2404 Mon 04-Mar-19 12:37:24

Sounds like my ex, took me months to get him to leave my house he kept saying no one would believe me and i was mental. He would twist my words and say he hadnt said something when he had. He questioned me constantly about where id been who i spoke to what was said and passed that off as just being caring. He woukd text me alll day and night even at work ringing me at least 3 times a night (he worked nights). He never did anything for ds i have done it all and my son is very much attached to me and my ex knows this but insists on over nights and coming and going when he pleases which isnt good. So i stopped contact and waiting for him to take me to court. He uses contact as a way to contact me , verbally abuse me and control whats going on!!
Good luck in court let me know how you get on xx

OP’s posts: |
Hullabalooo Wed 06-Mar-19 10:44:20

I'm in court next month with EA ex. Dreading it! Solidarity sisters 🤛

Gcemb2404 Wed 06-Mar-19 12:09:52

I havent got a date but as i refused mediation im expecting it. He sends me messages saying "just to let you know as i have to pay for mediation courts etc i wont have money to spend or take out our son", i dont know what he wants me to do with that info he acts like he has loads to pay out he had 900-1000 disposable income other than his food out of it!! I have 0 lol its like he tries to guilt trip me into doing as he says, but ive learnt it doesnt wash with me now. Hes a grown up so act like one.
Let me know how you get on! Always here to chat xx

OP’s posts: |

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