Does anyone else suffer from overwhelming envy? I have a sibling who I love but everything has fallen into place for her so easily and she seems to have everything I want. I feel childish but it is ruining my relationship with her. She wants kids - gets pregnant straight away , gets the gender and age spacing she hoped for, is happily married, doesn't have to work, regular holidays, lives in big house with garden, has a social life because has babysitters and can therefore build friendships and go out for meals with friends and partners.
It's so frustrating that she has all this when I work about a hundred times harder and live in a tiny rented flat with a balcony and struggle to get by. I wanted a big family and don't have one. I just want to scream its not fair!
I know we can never know someone else struggles but truly I don't think she has one. In fact, I feel like I know a lot of people who live these comfortable, easy lives where everything goes to plan and they have never had to struggle.
I do realise I am lucky to live in a safe country and have a roof over my head and a child etc etc. But it doesn't stop me feeling angry at my situation. I wanted more children. I hate having to have my child in childcare all the time because I have to work long hours. I am lonely and skint most the time.
I can hardly bring myself to talk to her now which is sad. The last straw is her deciding to do something I have always wanted to, but am unable to due to certain life circumstances.
Anyone else ever feel like this? Any advice on overcoming this feeling?
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Ugly Envy
11 replies
technotstarnotechstar · 24/02/2019 22:56
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