Hi.
My daughter is 4 next month. I am a single working mum and my daughter is in nursery with the 30 hours free. My daughter has been having meltdowns for months whilst I was trying to potty train it was like I was battering her when I tried to get her in the tiolet. She has meltdowns over any little. Thing and screams at the top of her lungs. She never seems to want me she is always asking for her dad and after I pick her up from. Her dad's on his weekend I am. Always met with her running away from. Me and shouting I don't want you. Go away. She has started to physically hit and kick teachers in nursery. Whilst in nursery she had 2 reports from seniss and they have said that she can't handle her emotions she had no socal skills and she is very sensative. She dosnt like change she needs to be given plenty of notice before even going into another room in nursery. I am being pulled in nursery all the time about her and its stressing me out. I have no idea what to think or why she is doing it. When I ask her why she hides and says don't look at me. She even kicks off at me in the school yard and I don't know how to manage her anymore. I feel like am. Always shouting at her and I feel terrible. We have an appointment with the paediatrition next month but am. Worried about what they will say. She my little girl and I don't want anything wrong with her. But I feel like such a bad mum becUse am always telling her off. I don't knkw what to do with her anymore I feel lost and a bad mum because I can't seem to. Manage my own daughter. Had anyone else had the same problem or words of wisdom that can help please.
Thank you.
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Daughter behaviour. Help.
FREYASMUMMY2015 · 21/01/2019 20:21
Sounds like she is finding life confusing op.
Can you make her a timetable for her week? Pictures /stickers of what she will be doing with you /her df /in nursery?
Keep a diary and put something in it every day.
She may settle down if she can see df written into her week, plan simple little things to put on the timetable for the 2 of you to do, Tues make cakes maybe? Wed watch Frozen? So she can realise fun stuff happens with you too and her df will be there on x day.
Try and look after yourself too, catch up on some you time when she is with him. Keep your mind occupied. You are her dm, she is finding her feet with 3 places to be that's all.
Hi again Op,
Sounds like a lovely supportive Dad NOT!
Don’t worry about them spoiling her. It’s exactly this that can sometimes create the problems. However, it’s consistency and balance that prevent them.
Don’t try and compete with your ex. This in itself can overwhelm your dd and it adds pressure to you.
I have 5 kids and I found the cheapest things are by far the best.
Every Friday night, (whikst I was a single mum with 3 kids) we’d drag down their mattresses. I’d sleep in the fifa and we’d have a movie night, watch movies, have yummy snacks. Even if all 3 kids had a friend each to sleepover, their friends ds would want to join in. Doesn’t cost very much at all. No worry about shipping them off to bed. It was so lovely. All 3 are 21,17,16 now do ibviously it’s stopped.
Going for a walk with a torch in the evening having a hot chocolate and biscuit on a bench somewhere. It’s things like that kids love. Just you and her. I’d still take the kids out in the rain so it was more exciting. Then afterwards bubble bath.
New gf of guys with kids often begin with being (step mother of the year) but it can often wear off. Same with bf of mums with kids.
Your ex is an arse and a neglectful parent. A child’s well being is BOTH parents responsibility.
It’s all very easy to pick up a child, spoil he or she and drop her back.
Don’t give up. You can do this. If you daughter has massive tantrums when she comes back from her dads, etc just stay really calm, quiet calm voice and just stay close to her to reassure her. Offer her a cuddle and tell her you know she feels sad but you are there to help her feel better. Eventually your offer will be to good to resist. Even if she’s screaming, don’t raise your voice to be heard, just keep talking softly.
Coping with a child having a melt down is hideous for all of us. We’ve all been there. Just yesterday in a car park, a poor mum had a son who was raging. I felt so sorry for her and desperately wanted to help. When my dd was 3-4, she was a nightmare in the supermarket. I would dread doing the weekly shop. So embarrassing.
You always feel as though you’re the only one with a child who behaves that way, but the truth is, most kids kick off for one reason or another.
One day, you’ll hear a screaming child and you’ll look at your dd, and the noise won’t be coming from her. The feeling of relief!!
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