Access with Newborn?

[Cassie85]

Hi all, I’m just wondering if anyone has any experience of non-resident parent’s access with a newborn?i know little and often seems to be the advice.

What if the parents relationship has deteriorated to where they don’t feel comfortable with dad visiting in mums house?

What about breastfeeding considerations?

Just trying to get some advice on how to handle what might be a challenging time. Any advice welcome and appreciated.

[MissMalice]

Contact can be outside both homes - a soft play perhaps or out at the park. Third parties can be involved to support if necessary.

Breastfeeding obviously needs to be a priority.

Do you know what you might feel comfortable with?

[Cassie85]

Thanks for your reply MissM.

So if it was outside the home say at a park, that would be maybe 30-60 mins. What if baby was sleeping? I’m not deliberately being stupid, just suppose I’m thinking that if it was outside then feeding and changing wouldn’t really happen so would it just be for more cuddles and bonding that way?

I’m really not sure tbh, mine and ex’s relationship is at rock bottom but I want him to have a relationship with his baby so just trying to think ahead about some options.

[MissMalice]

If baby is sleeping then baby is sleeping. I’d probably have a look at facilities around where you are and see what might work. For example the soft play near me is big enough for mum to be out of the way but still on hand if needed, no entry fee for under ones, big comfy sofas, changing facilities etc.
Very newborn is going to be tricky. 30-60 mins 3-4 times a week probably better to start. Once in a bit of a routine, it’ll get much easier and you can switch to doing longer amounts of time, less frequently if necessary.

Priority has to be baby’s needs of course - being fed, changed, warm, not too long away from mum in the earliest weeks/months. It sounds tough for you both - I hope you’re able to find a way that works

[Cassie85]

That soft play in your area sounds ideal. I wouldn’t particularly want to spend the time with him, but aye being close by would be handy, would give me time to read a book or something I suppose.

Grandparents might be handy as well, to help facilitate things but as you say that might be when baby is a bit older.

Thank you, I’m sure we will. I ‘hope’ we both put baby first and that should make things easier. Thanks for your advice it’s definately given me something to think about.