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Court order

(9 Posts)
B00BIES11 Thu 10-Jan-19 20:45:04

Hi there..i am new here so not sure what i am doing...just wondered if anyone was living with a shared care order??? Just wanted to share the experience with someone who knows as i know nobody who is living with this

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Parent999 Fri 11-Jan-19 16:43:30

Although not 50/50 it is a shared care order.

B00BIES11 Fri 11-Jan-19 17:13:05

Mine is 50/50. My ex also has a share of the benefits too. He works full time too

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Parent999 Fri 11-Jan-19 17:55:44

Ah, I’ve never heard of the benefits being shared. My ex gets all of it, even if we were 50/50. But then it’s not worth the fight and would probably send her over the edge.
How’s it going for you? Even though it’s been 4 years since we split my ex is still playing silly games.

B00BIES11 Fri 11-Jan-19 18:15:31

Well my kids are fine but it is me that is still trying to come to terms with it.thats why i am reaching out on here to chat with someone who is experiencing it as my friends dont understand. Its been a year last november

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Parent999 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:18:51

Ah, what are you struggling with? I struggle with the fact that one day I was a family man and equal parent and then I was systematically reduced to the humiliation of being a “visitor” to my daughter. My ex openly claims that children don’t attach to men so I had no option but court.
Even though I have a partner and effectively, our own little family unit I’m still very jealous of the traditional family units. Men that get to see their children every day. It’s not easy but I just keep busy when she is with mum. Date nights with partner, golf, over time at work so I can reduce any commitments while I have dd.

B00BIES11 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:38:48

I struggle as i feel like i am unimporant in their lives...i cannot get another job now as my hours are so specific due to the order and i have lost £112.50 a week. My kids have been taken off me to go to their dad who still works full time and his mum does the childcare. Seems daft to me when he was already having them 3 nights 1 week 4 nights the next. Alternativley. I keep busy when i dont have mine too, either work or gym

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Parent999 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:00:51

So he had them 50% and went for more in court? That sounds extremely rare.
But I know exactly where you’re coming from, I used to be a consultant. But with the court being so rigid I can’t find any contracts that will allow me the flexible time. Traditionally I would take a contract in London and then after a week or so they would always say work from home and come in for meeting one day a week. But I can’t even do that now.
My ex will do anything to see me fail. None of its easy.
But I’ve got this far through infidelity, break up, parental alienation and court. Simply getting a job seems so trivial.

I’m really sorry you feel unimportant, but you must keep reminding yourself that the kids don’t feel you are. Maybe you can take some night classes, get qualified for the job you want, even go self employed? Time to think outside the box. X

B00BIES11 Fri 11-Jan-19 21:22:05

Thank you listening and its good to here the male side of this amicably as apposed to my ex as we dont speak. I dont stay kids forever i suppose. Good luck in your future

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