Ive been separated for over 3 years. I left my husband because I was so unhappy. I moved out the family home with my daughter and rented somewhere. He's very angry about this and said i destroyed the family, our daughters childhood etc. However, it wasnt a decision i took lightly and i was so unhappy.
Our current arrangment is she lives with me and stays with him fri-sun 2 weekends in 3. Previously she stayed there every weekend. So it took a while to get to this point. I work full time but am hoping to reduce my hours.
He can't commit to a night in the week because of his work hours. However, he is planning to move in with his new partner and then have 50% residency. 1 week there and 1 week here. So the partner can be there and drop her at childcare if he is working late/early.
I'm not sure about this suggestion but am trying to separate my feelings about him as a husband and what's best for my daughter.
She is 6. I think this routine could be unsettling. I don't think he can rely on his partner to provide care potentially all week. I also worry he'll turn our daughter against me and gain sole custody. He is very disrespectful and undermines me. He will put me down at every oppotunity. I never rise to it and have got better at ignoring it but i worry about what he says to our daughter.
She wants to see him more. I know he's discussed this arrangment with her already.
I was going to suggest every other weekend and 1 or 2 nights in the week. But then might it as well be 7 days alternating?
I didn't get 50% of the house because I couldn't bear fighting. I also feel guilty that i left (but i was so unhappy). I dont mind about the house but i dont want to get worn down by him again.
I dont know whats the best
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50/50 residency
5 replies
motheroreily · 07/01/2019 16:13
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