Had parents evening today, dd sat and behaved in the library whilst we went in. All good news, achieving in most, excelling in some and needs to work on a couple (catching a ball being one of them, so Im not too worried!). The MOST amazing thing was the round-up at the end when teacher said she was really pleased how dd has come on this year, she has become more confident, out-going, making more friends and itsparticularlynoticablesinceChristmas ...
and what happened at Christmas? ... We split up and Dh moved out!!!
I really believe that kids are far more perceptive than we give them credit for and more than they probably understand. Dh and I were not arguing, any "words" were when she was asleep - there was a lot of tension however, and she must have picked up on that.
I was away the weekend dh told her he was moving out (a decision we made together) and when I came back and he told me how it went, he said it was like a visible weight lifted of her shoulders and she actually said to him that we would both be a lot happier. I thought Christmas would be a difficult time for him to leave but it was just before school broke up and over Christmas, dd got used to being in Daddys new house and back home with Mummy so by the time school started again, she was used to change. Its just been amazing to see how well she has coped and to hear that recognised and confimed by her teacher is such a relief. Big kisses and hugs to dd. xx
Happy Mummy !
Well done your DD. I'm not a believer in staying together for the kids - after years of tension I was really happy when my parents finally divorced! Keep the communication open and I'm sure she'll continue to feel the benefits.
We did have a mutual smug (seperated) parents moment, I must admit...
I really wanted to post my experince for any MNers who are wondering whether to stay or to go and really think they want to go but not sure about how the dc will cope and think they should stay for the kids sake. I know all kids are different, but mine seems to have coped unbloodybelievingly but then we've explained the basics to her and her life has continued as stable as possible. Plus I'm probably very lucky as ex is very dependable, both in seeing dd and financial maintenance.
Think I'm having a good evening on my own rather than the usual mediochre or miserable one. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I've seen you write that elsewhere, NM; I don't have much experience of seperated families so it's good to hear other people's positive comments (that its better to split than stay together and be misogs).
Dd said to me a couple of months ago, ie about 4 months after ex moved out... something like "do you remember when daddy lived here..." so I carefully asked her "do you remember when that was?" and she replied "ooooh, a long time ago"...! But I guess 4 months is a long time when you're only 6!