Problem grandparents

[Jordygal]

Hello, just wanted to chuck this out there and potentially get some advice. My ex partners parents are often left in charge of my three year old. My ex was emotionally abusive and his parents are very similar - I feel really scared about my child being left in their care, the way they manipulate him and speak to him is truly awful I feel like there is nothing I can do to keep him from them as my ex has a 40/60 split of childcare. Things took a dark turn this weekend however while I was working away - I was talking to my son on FaceTime when I called his grandfather 'Frank' (his name) I said 'did you have a good time with Frank yesterday?' Elaine (Grandma) came on the phone and said 'his name is Grandad.' I asked her to put me back on the phone to my son. She refused and hung up. She would not give me any further information/contact on my child that weekend and I was at my wits end. When I went for collection on Monday the curtains were closed and nobody answered the door. I waited outside knocking and knocking and shaking not knowing where my child was. Eventually they opened the door and handed him over. This kind of thing has gone on for three years since I left my ex and I'm at the end of my rope now. I don't know what options are open to me but this kind of emotional manipulation from them and my ex partner has led me to depression and very difficult times. I've been to court with my partner and keen to stay out of court again. I feel like there is no help or advice for people out of abusive relationships after a certain point but the abuse continues. Any advice or ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks

[Halloweenallyearround]

Does he see your parents?

[impossiblecat]

What could the court do if you stopped access?

[Birdie6]

Why would you call him Frank ? Presumably your DS calls him Grandad . If this is the "darkest" thing that happened - maybe you sort of instigated it .

I'm a grandmother, and when my DS broke up with his partner, she immediately told the kids that I wasn't "Grandma" any more but to call me by my given name, since I wasn't their "real grandmother" any more . That really irked me . Maybe these people found it annoying that you called FIL "Frank" instead of Grandad.

[Feb2018mumma]

Sounds so scary, it's not fair to withhold contact from your son becuase you said the wrong name! I know a friend who lost his weekend custody (whatever it's called not sure) becuase he gave child to grandparents and went out, so you would be able to stop contact if they keep refusing to let you talk to your child/ let you pick your child up!

[VictoryOrValhalla]

Over my dead body would I hand my child over to anyone who refused to hand them back when I asked. No way. Stop contact OP. They’re scary fuckers.

[Halloweenallyearround]

You were being a wind up and it back fired and not your claiming to be the victim. You child is who you should be talking to, not making silly digs.
Grow up.

And gp's helping on dads days won't stop contact at all that's false unless there a danger to child.

[impossiblecat]

I think the MIL is on this thread. Halloween indeed!

[Halloweenallyearround]

Yes how did you know?...

[impossiblecat]

You sound as mad as the MIL in the OP.

[LovesLaboursLost]

How odd Halloween

[Halloweenallyearround]

How?
Because I don't think you should be calling grandad parent by their first name? I bet the op wouldn't like the grandma refer to her by her name in from of he child.
And the the op was so worried before she turned up? Why.
She was acting silly and didn't like the reaction and as much as the reaction wasn't right, we actually don't know if she turned up early for collection.

[impossiblecat]

Where does it say she turned up early? Or have you read that in to justify your position?

The grandmother, put the phone down and refused to allow the OP to speak to her own child. None of that is justified- regardless of the name issue.

You do not undermine or belittle parents in front of their children. Not unless you want those children to think back as adults, and realise what a bit bitch you were.

[Halloweenallyearround]

What you talking about my position?... I'm a mother of three dc under 13. I dislike my ex mil but I wouldn't disrespect a as you say ' grand -parent ' in front of my dc.
The comments on here are mostly from mothers who think is acceptable because of their own experience.
I didn't say she was early, but it's odd how they actually did answer the door.
Makes me laugh that I would have to be a mil to understand when a game is being played! I was being sarcastic