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Feelig a bit rubbish on my birthday

(29 Posts)
Ilovecrumpets Thu 06-Dec-18 06:58:27

Hi all - just writing for a moan really. First birthday since ex left the family home. Just feel a bit low. Have 2 young DS (6 and 4) - DS7 made me a card. Tbf ex did take them shopping and bought them present to give me - which are toys for themselves.

I guess I just wanted something from them that I could keep - so a card from my youngest and even something totally crap/small from them as a gift. Actually just a card each.

I guess I feel worse as my mum helps my sister who is a single parent extensively and always makes sure my neiece has got her something and done a card. She was down here last weekend (1st time since my ex left) - I don’t know I just thought she might have helped them.

I know it doesn’t really matter and I’ll feel fine in 10 minutes. I guess it just makes me realise how on my own I am - mum and sister didn’t send anything either.

OP’s posts: |
imsorryiasked Thu 06-Dec-18 07:02:13

Happy Birthday OP flowers Sorry you're feeling shit ay the moment but hope your day improves. Sending some virtual cake

Ilovecrumpets Thu 06-Dec-18 07:13:10

Thanks imsorryiasked smile

OP’s posts: |
DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 06-Dec-18 07:13:39

Happy birthday Ilovecrumpets 🌺🌻 I am sure you will treasure your card from your eldest.
I hope your mum and sister will be in touch today.

Ilovecrumpets Thu 06-Dec-18 07:19:48

Thanks Donkeys - need to get on with the usual mad school morning. My eldest is rather sweetly and somewhat worryingly trying to make me some toast, so the morning has already improved smile.

It’s funny how messages from strangers on the internet can help. I was always very cynical about it ( still am to an extent) but I’ve found mn so helpful since ex left.

OP’s posts: |
needsahouseboy Thu 06-Dec-18 07:23:02

Oh I hear you. I’m lucky my mum does get me something from my son but I live really close and she does all my childcare (willingly I might add MN 😂)
It gets better though as your children get older.
Hope you had a lovely birthday

Popskipiekin Thu 06-Dec-18 07:24:24

Aww I’m sorry. You know I doubt my own DH would think to help our DSs choose a gift for me! He might scrabble together a card for them, or maybe not. The fact your own older DS thought to make a card for you speaks wonders of the way you’ve brought him up and his love for you, and in time your younger one will be old enough to do the same. It means more when they’ve thought to do it themselves.
Give yourself a treat today for your birthday instead smile many happy returns! cake

sandgrown Thu 06-Dec-18 07:25:31

Perhaps your mum knew the ex would take your DC shopping. I am sure she will be in touch today. Could you meet a friend while DC are at School or treat yourself even if it's just a Christmas coffee . Happy Birthday x

margaritasbythesea Thu 06-Dec-18 07:28:04

Happy birthday OP.

I'm not a single parent but am often on my own with the kids and no presents. Over the years I mind less but often do something I fancy that the kids can get on board with and it's nice doing it together. They get really excited about making the thing nice for me. This year we had fish and chips on the beach. Last year we learned to make my favourite Chinese takeaway dish from scratch. They didn't like it but had the Noodles.

I am wondering if spending five minutes really having a proper think about how well you have done since your husband went might be a boost too.

Hope you find something that gives it a little shine.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Thu 06-Dec-18 07:30:18

Happy birthdaycake
I am not a single parent but I certainly understand Birthday disappointment. Try and take stock of just how lucky you are smile
Have a great day OP and treat yourself if no one else does it grin

redexpat Thu 06-Dec-18 07:34:39

Happy birthday to youuuuuu
Happy birthday to youuuuuu
Happy BIRTHday dear Crumpeeeeeet
Happy birthday toooooo youuuuuu

Just so you know in my head Im singing the harmony on the last line.

MeVoila Thu 06-Dec-18 07:38:08

Happy birthday!!!!!
I get you. I've been a single parent for 8 years. Widowed and parentless so noone to organise anything. When my oldest was 10, I started giving them a tenner each and sending them up to the local shops to buy me something. It can be very funny to see what they choose- 10 bottles of Imperial Leather bubble bath anyone???they're old enough to try and think what I like, not what they like.
Your DCs are too young to plan ahead and utterly reliant on someone providing money and the opportunity to shop. Breakfast in bed and a freely given kiss are what I'd ask for.
It's hard but you just have to sort things out for yourself- treat yourself....and the occasion just seems to accentuate one's general feelings about being alone/ lonely.

Ohyesiam Thu 06-Dec-18 07:38:42

Happy Birthday love🌺. Hope your day improve . Pop back on here if you need to

madmumofteens Thu 06-Dec-18 07:53:42

Happy birthday ilovecrumpets have a lovely day and go and treat yourself you are so worth it 💐

Ilovecrumpets Thu 06-Dec-18 08:13:35

Thank you so much everyone for replying. smile

OP’s posts: |
chocatoo Thu 06-Dec-18 08:21:26

Happy birthday!!
Buy a birthday cake and invite yr mum and sis/neighbours/a friend round after school for a cuppa and a slice of birthday cake.

pompomcat Thu 06-Dec-18 08:23:31

Happy birthday OP (I am singing along with @redexpat!) I hope you enjoyed your card and toast, and are able to treat yourself a bit today smile

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 06-Dec-18 08:45:54

10 bottles of Imperial Leather bubble bath anyone??? grin

Lattesforlife Thu 06-Dec-18 08:58:29

Another member of the birthday choir here!

I’m a single parent too and I HATE birthdays for this reason, my Ds got me a can of Diet Coke last year bless him because he said he knew I loved it.

Can you throw yourself into it? Goto shops and buy balloons and a cake, then tonight do a party tea for yourself? Kids will love it, and it’s showing them you are important too.

I hope this next year is awesome for you birthday girl flowerscake

Ilovecrumpets Thu 06-Dec-18 13:31:21

Thanks everyone - am in work today but will get some stuff on the way home and do a birthday tea with the kids wine ( for me not themwink)

OP’s posts: |
2018anewstart Thu 06-Dec-18 21:50:21

Happy birthday ilive crumpets. I hope you have had a lovely evening with your children. Xxx

theliverpoolone Thu 06-Dec-18 22:36:12

Happy Birthday! cake Single parent here too, and dd was the only person apart from my mum to wish me Happy Birthday recently, and bought my present with money I gave her. It's a bit rubbish, but also lovely to have our children to spend our day with.

Donthugmeimscared Thu 06-Dec-18 22:39:14

Hi op my birthday was on Monday and I could have written this post. My three dcs are older and did nothing at all. My mum usually gets something with them but didn't and then just argued all day long.

Any way Happy Birthday and hope you had a good day.

Ilovecrumpets Fri 07-Dec-18 06:35:09

Thank you for the messages everyone. It wasn’t too bad a day in the end.

@donthugmeimscared sorry you had a bit of a rubbish birthday as well. Let’s hope next year’s is better.

I find Christmas a bit easier as then can just concentrate on the kids. Hope everyone has a lovely day

OP’s posts: |
sparklepops123 Fri 07-Dec-18 06:48:20

Happy belated birthday 💐

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