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How are you splitting Christmas?

(15 Posts)
ThePeachPit Wed 05-Dec-18 19:24:57

Last year ex saw dd Christmas Day morning at my families home, he watched her open her presents and then went off to do his own thing. He took her out for a bit Boxing Day.
He says Christmas is up to me, he doesn’t want to alternate but wants to see dd. Thing is I’m planning Christmas morning in my own home with dd and have been thinking for my partner to be here, he’s moving in after Christmas and we’re expecting a baby together. No way ex and bf can be together, ex really won’t like idea of bf seeing dd Xmas morning when he’s not, don’t think bf will be keen on ex being here but I know he’ll deal with it for dds sake.

Wondering if I tell him he can come early morning see her open gifts and then go and my bf can join us before we go to my mums. But make it clear this is this last time and from next year we need a fair plan. But what’s fair?
I don’t want dd missing her siblings first Christmas (next year). Think she’d feel pushed out. Honestly though hate the thought of her missing Xmas with me ever sad

Is it fair to say dd is with my Christmas Eve and for Christmas dinner and he can collect after dinner and have Christmas night and Boxing Day? But do that every year?

OP’s posts: |

Yes, that's fair. My ex and I have a 50/50 pattern throughout the year, and adapt it at Christmas to ensure the kids get time with both of us. One of us has Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. They then go to the other from lunchtime and stay there for Christmas afternoon through Boxing Day. Alternate this each year. Works for us.

Haze0215 Wed 05-Dec-18 19:51:15

I am really pissed off this year!! I'm working days leading up to Christmas and also Christmas Eve. So my ex partners mum has decided she will pick my DS up at 11am Christmas morning! She is also having him until the 28th.
(She even asked to have him on Christmas Eve while I'm working, even though she's having him a lot that week)
I won't have enough time for my DS to open his presents and rush down to my mums by 11am and also spend a reasonable bit of time with him.
I am also pregnant so my hormones on Christmas Day will be bad!

As they are having him 3 days after that surely they could pick him up later in the day on Christmas!
Sorry I don't mean to rant, it has really got to me this year grin

eve34 Wed 05-Dec-18 20:20:52

My ex has yet to communicate with me over Christmas. I have made it clear the children. Will wake here and be with me for the morning. What happens after lunch is fair game.

Moving forward I don't know what will happen. The rational part of me knows we should swap. But right now the eldest is refusing to go. And they are sleeping on his and ow bedroom floor. So will cross that bridge in a years time.

I spent every Christmas with my mum. And saw my dad Boxing Day. My mum did all the work. And dad was Disney dad. This was normal for us. But realise time has moved in since the 70's.

RolandDeschainsGilly Wed 05-Dec-18 20:23:36

He’s having them from 21st (it’s his weekend) till late 25th, then back to me, back to his for NYE.

It changes slightly every year depending on when his/mine weekends fall but next year I’ll get them Xmas Eve/Day

wendz86 Thu 06-Dec-18 19:42:51

My ex is picking them up Christmas Eve morning and I am picking them up from his Christmas Day morning . Last year he had them Christmas Day to Boxing Day .

ChristmasFlary Tue 11-Dec-18 17:51:34

@Haze0215 - so why haven't you said no to collecting that early?

greyspottedgoose Tue 11-Dec-18 18:03:20

Why not let him have this Christmas Day and you have the next when your baby is here?

ThePeachPit Tue 11-Dec-18 18:40:12

We still haven’t sorted this Christmas! Ex asked if he could stay Christmas Eve (coming to mine after the pub) so he could see dd first thing. I’ve said no to that, but that I could phone him when she’s awake. I suggested he see her in the morning, watch her open presents then have her all day Boxing Day. He wanted to come for lunch too with us to my parents but he can’t so he’s sulking a bit now and he doesn’t want all day Boxing Day, because football!
Not sure what to do or what’s fair.

OP’s posts: |
ThePeachPit Tue 11-Dec-18 18:44:39

Well he’d have to go out Christmas Eve greyspotted so I’m not keen on dd being with a babysitter rather than me. That’s if he could find one, otherwise he’d end up not turning up anyway. He admits himself he doesn’t do Christmas, he’ll spend money but he won’t do the whole Christmas stories/baking/films stuff I do.

I honestly think he’ll only bother if/when he has anothet family or to get at me.

OP’s posts: |
CurlyWurlyTwirly Fri 14-Dec-18 09:52:17

Court order, a week each parent every other year. We’re in France so Xmas& new year are interchangeable; big family meals. However I like an English Christmas. I have to jump on a plane, to see my family in the uk, come back for 2 days and take DS back to the uk for a week.

Guest275 Mon 24-Dec-18 13:21:36

It's not fair if you get to spend Christmas Eve with your child every year.

ThePeachPit Mon 24-Dec-18 15:24:37

Not fair on who *@Guest275*? He’s had the option to come see her today and he’s “busy” busy in the pub.

OP’s posts: |
ThePeachPit Tue 25-Dec-18 08:29:05

Told him he could come at 8. Sent bf home after we did stockings and he gave dd a few gifts. Now I’m sat waiting with a excited two year old for her daddy to come!

OP’s posts: |
Hullabalooo Sun 30-Dec-18 07:11:06

5pm 24th December to 5pm on 28th then alternate parent 5pm om 28th Dec to 5pm on 2nd January. Good amount of time each and no one misses work.

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