Fed up very long rant sorry!!

[POPPYFLOWER1986]

Not sure if I've posted in correct thread so sorry if not.
Now where do I start!
I have a 5 year old daughter I split with her dad before she was born. (Whole other story but he makes my life extremely difficult) my daughter goes to her dads 1 night per week or less as he often works weekends.
I have been with my current partner since my daughter was 4 months old. We have never lived together properly as in he pays half to things but he stays nearly every night. The first 2 years we were together he rented a house with his friend but was at mine 90% of his time. I put my house on the market thinking we would be buying some where together but it ended up his dad got diagnosed with terminal cancer and he was zoned out for a good few months so I ended up buying a house to do up. This was 18 months ago. We have talked lots lately about buying together and he has been saving up. He spends just about every night at mine but goes straight home (to his mums) on weekdays when he's not working nights as I am a childminder so have a full house everyday.
Relationships between him and my daughter are what I describe been 'strained' my other half is quite stern with her, He winds her up constantly and teases her resulting in my LO been maungy and whiney pretty much when ever they are together. She is a real mommy's girl and we have a really strong relationship. I've been on my own all weekend with my Lo. We've had a little outing and done a few activities inside and watched some films. She has been an absolute doddle no whinging played on her own as well as with me. I just find life so much easier when my oh isn't around. It's just so stressful when we are all together I end up feeling exhausted and I'll from it.
I've been really resenting him lately as I feel like he's freeloaded off me for the last 5 year's. I've paid all the bills , the mortgage, food. I do 100% of the cooking and 100% of the cleaning as well as doing 100% of everything in relation to my daughter. Oh and there's the dog as well!!
I work 37 hours per week in comparison to his 27 hours (He does nights) my job is extreme tiring I have 4 children 3 and under each day. I struggle to get everything done and he sees me struggle and sees how tired I am but never helps. Last Friday he told me our sex life was getting a little 'Vannilla' and he was bored. I was really annoyed as the main reason we don't have much sex any more is because I'm tired. We used to have it about 5 times a week before I began childminding now it's 2 -3 times which from talking to my friends is about average. As for the vanilla aspect I would say it has go a bit more routiney from what it used to be but again this is because by 8pm I am exhausted and ready for bed and I don't put any effort in. We always have foreplay he likes going down on me I'm not particularly thrilled about going down on him but I do it. We have 69's not regular but occasional, we've tried anal in the past which he loves again I really just do that for his satisfaction as it kills! I've dresses up the odd time but really have no time or energy to do it atm.
He goes out with the lads I'd say every other week and plays rugby every Saturday 12 - 6. He also goes to the gym just about every evening 6- 7.30.
I don't have any hobbies (I don't have time for any). I'm a member of the gym but manage to het there once a week if that.
I guess I'm trying to get the point across that I don't get any me time and he gets tons!.
I'm feeling really down in the dumps atm I'm not in the house I want to be in, I'm not doing the job I want to do, I feel like my man is taking the kids and just generally fed up.
Am I on my own?
Are relationships with prior children really this hard? Should I be feeling so stressed?
What's everyone's sex life like? Is mine boring!?
He's joked a few times about trading me in for younger model 'because I'm too tired'
I'm at the point where I feel like giving up and walking away as I'm just too tired to worry about meeting his needs as well.
I should also mention I have a very dysfunctional family my dad is estranged skitzophrenic and I alcohol dependant. He contacts me and hounds me for hours at a time which has a big impact on my health I haven't seen him in a 5 years. My mum is in debt she has just lost her job and hords horse and dogs she has 7 horses and 7 dogs. She barely eats because of financial worries. We don't get along because I can't stand the way he life has become because of all the animals.
I also have 2 rental houses which I manage myself. I have the tenents from he'll in each of them and spend my day off each week chasing up rent and problems with either of them.
Life pretty much stinks atm

[Rattinghat]

He is a cocklodger. Get rid.

[Greystar]

He sounds horrid, you deserve better.

[BadgerWithRice]

What do you actually get out of your relationship with him??

[crimsonlake]

Despite your background it sounds as if you are doing wonderfully and are very well sorted. You really do not need this man bringing your life down and who is not very nice to your child. You could function very well on your own and deserve better, get rid.

[POPPYFLOWER1986]

@Crimson lake
Thanks I do feel like I've achieved lots but still have a long way to go. I do think he brings me down in terms of we could achieve so much if he wanted to be part of a team with me but he's really lazy.

[POPPYFLOWER1986]

@badgerwithrice
I guess the main thing I get is companionship. I still feel quite lonely with him around as none of my close friends have children so it is usually just me and my daughter.
We usually have 1 day out at the weekend as a family I look forward to this even though it can be quite stressful.
I also spend all of my day just with children and no adults so he is the only adult that I really see making him my only lifeline I suppose.
My 2 close friends don't have kids and one of them is very career orientated she has 3 jobs! The other has zero disposable income to do anything and she doesn't drive so it's not as though I can ask any of them to nip round for a cup of tea and a chat mid week as I have my daughter who goes in the bath a 6 and bed at 7. If I went to any of there houses their partners would be there so would feel stupid.
I find it quite difficult to interact with people and socialise. I think that's why I've ended up been a childminder after doing numerous jobs I have never felt like I fit in. At least with his job I don't have to mingle!
I guess I don't really have a social life either so when I go out it's for food/ drinks with him.
We have split up twice in 5 years both times for 4 weeks once he walked out and came crawling back the second time I ended it. Both times I joined POF and met other men but ended up been used the first time and the second time i was completely broken hearted and feeling really low and struggled to interact/ show my fun side which I feel has almost died away through years or stress and emotional turmoil.

[POPPYFLOWER1986]

@rattinghat
Cocklodger that one crease me hehe

[POPPYFLOWER1986]

@greystar
I wouldn't say he was horrid but things are getting worse in term of his relationship with my daughter he was much better when she was a baby toddler it's seems to be the last year now she has her own views/ attitude. He doesn't know how to speak to her. Be treats every little thing really sternly which most of the time ends in all he'll breaking loose as I have lived and breathed working with children for the last 17 years and I prefer the gentle way/ distraction. His way seems to esculate things.
He does some nice things they have a bit of play fighting and he will tuk her in to bed some nights and read a story. He's done lots of family days and holidays with us. He bought us both an advent calendar yesterday which was nice.