Feeling like a useless parent

[Rbkh]

I feel like shit to be honest. My little girl is nearly 2, split from her dad a few months ago although to be honest the relationship has been dead for over a year. Now I’m back living with my parents, on benefits and suffering so badly with my depression and anxiety. The way my ex left me really knocked my confidence to the point where I feel like I’m a failure as a parent. I want to go back to work but academically I’m awful. I failed my maths and English through having a rough time at school so never ended up going to classes etc. I’m absolutely rubbish at maths and I mean bloody awful, I’m extremely slow and everyone says how thick I am because of it which makes me feel crap. I’ve been to the job centre as i wanted to re-sit my maths only to be told by the lady there that I didn’t need to as it was just my anxiety making me think I was bad at maths. That really pissed me off as it isn’t that at all, I’m generally really bad and want to re-sit it but I don’t know how to go about it or who to ask?

I’m also struggling with finding a job as I don’t have childcare due to my parents working full time and the jobs I can apply for wouldn’t cover the childcare costs at all! I’m just feeling utterly lost and I feel like I’m failing my little girl so much. Everyone always slags off people on benefits as well which then makes me feel even worse like I’m scum. It’s frustrating as her dad is swanning around with his good paying job, visiting her every few weeks if that and only contributing towards her sometimes and then when he does he acts like I should be extremely grateful that he has paid, then has the cheek to tell me to go and find a job because it’s easy and I’m just making up excuses as to why I don’t work!

Sorry for such a long post I just feel so lost at the minute.

[Starlight345]

Firstly go to cms . He doesn’t get to pay if he feels like it . Look at college for maths . Lots of maths education . Some colleges have crèches. Could parents babysit at night ?