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Routine for a newborn ? What did you do ?

(2 Posts)
T0292 Wed 12-Sep-18 18:35:06

I am currently in this position too, I'm due in 6 weeks. I have been to see a solicitor about this as my ex decided for his pat leave he would want to be staying at my house the whole time including overnights (despite not being around the whole pregnancy) and I disagreed. I originally offered him all day at my house bearing in mind about appointments and me needing my own time too so it could be arranged specifically after the birth as we are unaware when this will happen. This discussion went on all day and ended in alot of abuse from him and him basically wanting control over me for that 2 weeks as it was seen (from him) that he could worm his way back in again! I spoke to my solicitor about all of this and she informed me that I am the person who decides what contact he has and what i am comfortable with so to set that out to him and stick to it when the time comes.. if he is to turn up at any point other than stated in the message to not allow him into the house and call the police if he wont leave. Not sure if I've been advised that because of the emotional abuse I've received from him during the pregnancy or it applies to all situations though! I got the impression that its all situations and its up to you about what you feel comfortable with happening and if he doesnt accept it that he is to then seek legal advice and take it from there. I was told to be firm and tell him rather than offer and stick to it so I will be saying 3 days a week with a days grace after leaving the hospital and a days grace between each visit too, also limited it to 11am-4pm and will be having a 3rd party present then whilst he is on his pat leave we will discuss arrangements for the 6 months following.

Yelsgirl Thu 06-Sep-18 18:35:22

So I’m expecting a baby in 9 weeks, Partner left me and I have a 3 year old with my ex.
I’m having a section so my mums friend is coming in the section with me as I want someone supportive in there with me.

My issue is realistically when does the dad see the baby? I know he will come to the hospital but after this. Obviously I’m massively hurt by him leaving me- do I have to have an open door policy on my house still? Baring in mind my 3 year old is here too who’s pretty confused by someone walking out without a bye and never coming back.
Realistically when would he expect to have her on his own ?
I just want what’s best for her but I really can’t work out how it will work out !

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