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Advice needed on custody in the event that I die..

(15 Posts)
Hannahmart Thu 06-Sep-18 11:59:04

Wanted to know if anyone has any idea what would happen to my children if I die. Iv read that the other parent would get responsibility, I have 2 children by 2 different fathers, would they be split up? Is there anything I can do to prevent this, I'd want my sister to bring them up together but iv tired my best to research this and I can't find any information on it. Replys and advice very much appreciated
Hannah xx

OP’s posts: |
Stressedoutmamma Thu 06-Sep-18 13:04:35

I would like to know this too my DDs (4) sperm donor hasnt been her in 3 years and I do not want her to go to him. I would love her to go to my mother or elder brother as she is very close to them. My dad died last month and it's really hit home how much I need her with her family that love,care and want her best interests at heart not his family who don't really bother and would make sure my family would never see her again

cloudsrainsun Thu 06-Sep-18 14:09:15

If the surviving parent is on the birth certificate then the custody of the child would automatically go to them. My DD's father isn't involved and I hope my parents would be awarded custody of her.

Hannahmart Thu 06-Sep-18 14:22:35

But what if they have different fathers. Would they e be split up? Surly the court wouldn't do that

OP’s posts: |
Mumoftwo12345 Thu 06-Sep-18 14:26:18

Place marking as I have a similar concern. When I can afford to I will having a will written and I believe that you write your wishes re. Childcare in that. I think the other parent on the birth certificate would automatically get custody but I'm sure your wishes would need to be taken into consideration & your partner/surviving next of kin would need to go to court to express those wishes and have a contact arrangement written.

cloudsrainsun Thu 06-Sep-18 14:29:20

My older two have a different father to my daughter so if anything happened to me they would go live with their dad and hopefully my daughter to my parents but my parents would see my older two often so they would still have a good relationship as siblings.

onetimeposter Thu 06-Sep-18 14:32:54

Social services place with NOK unless there is a will agreement in place.

Creeper8 Thu 06-Sep-18 14:42:02

Would both fathers want residency? I imagine they would get it if the worst was to happen. Even if it meant splitting them up.

Iizzyb Thu 06-Sep-18 14:46:01

Make a will, appoint a guardian. If you want both dc's together (makes sense) then decide which exp you want them to go to, get his agreement, ideally explain to the other & get his agreement too & then put a letter in with the will which explains the guardian appointment and the reasons etc. If you can't talk to/agree it with exp2 then just do the rest of it. He might challenge it if it came to it but you've put the building blocks in place. Use a proper solicitor to do this, not a will writer to make sure you get it set out correctly. Also I would try & appoint someone different to be trustee of the ££ left for the dc's so all the responsibility isn't just on one person.

chasinggarlic Thu 06-Sep-18 15:15:05

But what if they have different fathers. Would they e be split up? Surly the court wouldn't do that

Of course they will.

onetimeposter Thu 06-Sep-18 15:32:15

Yes they will split them. Ss will not take care of or look for the best joint outcome. They will find their nearest relatives, their fathers firstly, and place them as quick as possible.
Is there any reason you are so worried?
You need legal advice.

Bluebell878275 Thu 06-Sep-18 16:42:00

They would placed with their other parent/s. It would be very odd if my DSD was placed with her Brother's Father instead of coming to me and my DH (her Father)!

Unless there are any safeguarding issues it would be correct to place a child with their own parent. You'd have to speak to both Father's and get something agreed between all of you that in the event of your death they would ensure the siblings spend regular time together.

onetimeposter Thu 06-Sep-18 17:30:58

Are you ok op?

Creeper8 Thu 06-Sep-18 17:37:17

I cant see an ex partner agreeing to look after a kid that isnt his im afriad. Just because its his childs sibling.

onetimeposter Thu 06-Sep-18 17:49:27

People generally dont creeper, even stepdads who lived with the child for years. Hoping something will be sorted is not enough. You must have a will.

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