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Contact During School Holidays

(8 Posts)
Catmatrat Sat 04-Aug-18 19:36:22

What is ‘the norm’?

Obviously there are the worst case scenarios where the father doesn’t see or sees very little but what’s kind of expected?

My ex has the kids one night a week and the full day after so maybe from 7-7 (rough example). He’ll also stop in and see them a night or two a week but I just feel like he doesn’t actually have them very much. We’ve only been separated for a few months so it’s all new to me.

Thanks in advance.

OP’s posts: |
Starlight345 Sat 04-Aug-18 20:11:29

Norm is irrelevant . My normal is ds’s dad doesn’t see him at all . Courts often split holidays however what is he asking for? Do you both work, ages of dc is all relevant

Catmatrat Sat 04-Aug-18 20:15:59

By the norm I mean what’s ideal, what do ‘the powers that be’ declare best for the children and parents?

We both work - he’s not 9-5 though which makes term time tricky as he’d start prior to the time their breakfast club opens. They’re 6 and 7. I just don’t want to get 2/3 years down the line and look back and think acthally, they didn’t spend that much time with their dad and now it’s too late to get that time back. He’s a very good dad, hands on etc and we have an absolutely amazing relationship so it really is about what would the best for them. Is one night a week seen as enoug?

OP’s posts: |
eve34 Sun 05-Aug-18 08:44:10

Think the usual for families is every other weekend at absent parents. One evening in the week and half the holidays.

But every situation is different. My sister has 50/50 shared care. My ex only gets 4 weeks leave a year. He has ignored my request to have the kids this summer. I would like him to do a week at Easter and a week in the summer. And a few days over Christmas. But it is early days here too.

mineisarossini Sun 05-Aug-18 08:48:04

I would think every other weekend, 1-2 nights week days. School holidays a week or two depending on the length. That seems pretty average in these parts. Everyone is different and needs vary.
Is he taking them on holiday or doing enough in the school holidays?

mineisarossini Sun 05-Aug-18 08:49:09

And stopping in is the not same as looking after them.

SPag2018 Sun 05-Aug-18 08:49:33

Every other weekend and one night in the week is the old standard.

Most people I know have their own arrangements everywhere along the scale.

My ex wouldn’t take half the holidays he was offered as he works hmm. Weirdly enough so do I but as he says that’s what he pays me for

NorthernSpirit Sun 05-Aug-18 09:20:29

My OH has a court ordered contact order.

He does EOW, alternative Christmas Day and Easter and half of all school holidays.

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