struggling with ptsd

[Mum2three11]

The last year or so has been very difficult and this last month in particular has been challenging. I have at times felt suicidal and imagined not being here would be the answer but couldn’t hurt my children in that way as know they love and need me . I’ve close myself off from people as it seems to be the only way I cope but at the same time feel I need someone to talk to but when I try I can feel barriers . Don’t know how’s best to overcome my thoughts right now . I’m tired of the pain and anxiety and just don’t know how to get through it .

[Seniorschoolmum]

You’re right, you need someone to talk to. Ring the Samaritans, they’ll be happy to talk and would much rather you call than do anything extreme. They have endless professional patience. And it’s all anonymous.

Give them a try .

[Motherofpearl19]

@Mum2three11 hello, how are you doing today? I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time - and sounds like you have been trying to cope by yourself - I think it's great that you have reached out on here.

I can point you in the direction of some different options for counselling / therapies if you like? Just say the word.

[Seniorschoolmum]

Just checking in to see that you’re ok. How’s it going?

I’ve been ironing all morning and now too hot to move so taking a break. Lemon barley water & mumsnet.

[Hullabalooo]

I understand that feeling. My local DA charity have signposted me for ptsd support. Maybe you could find something similar. I've also been having emdr therapy for ptsd which is helping somewhat.

[Motherofpearl19]

How are you doing @Mum2three11? Just checking as you started this thread on 20th but then didn't continue with the chat! Do feel free to let us know how you are feeling, even if it's still not so good - we want to support you

[Charliemum23]

Hi sorry I’ve not been back on I’ve taken some time out to gather my thoughts and try to work through everything going on around me I’m a little stronger now and In time I’m sure things will get better thanks all for your replies x

[katzeons]

How are you? I know it's hard I had depression a few years ago before I had my daughter and had a bit of post natal depression after her, as hard as it is you need to talk to people hun and I found what helped me a lot was going for a walk a day with my little one in the pram, or painting my nails or doing little things it makes a massive difference, they are people you can chat to who won't judge you! Maybe go to your doctors too? See if they can refer you to taking therapy? You're not on your own there's many people around you

[Charliemum23]

Hi I’m actually a lot stronger than I was when I posted was in a bad place the situation is still the same but I’m not in the bad place I was . I get out with the dogs and I work and have my child . Think with recent events I just hit rock bottom . Trying not to be to identifying but I left quite an abuse relationship a long time ago but it’s carried on but through my older children and sadly my oldest two aren’t currently speaking to me he had manipulated and brainwashed them . I’ve always had a good relationship with them but feel like I’ve lost them forever ones 19 and other 16 . I just feel leaving not only cost me my home , life most importantly my kids I have my younger one with me but feel sad for him

[katzeons]

Don't feel sad for him! It might not seem
It now but you're better off espically if there's abuse! I can only imagine with the kids hun! Have you tried talking to them? Or asking them out maybe for lunch or a coffee just to explain how things are? It's hard when one parent decides to brainwash the kids it's not right, do you still see them?

[Charliemum23]

No don’t see my older kids at all I left the relationship over 6 years ago but recently found out my ex was arrested for indecent images . I cannot have my youngest any where near him as he needs protecting and right now my older kids have decided there Dad innocent and I’m crazy despite getting evidence and showing them. A week after it happened he attempted suicide and that’s what he’s using to keep my kids onside and I just feel so powerless to stop what he’s doing . Untill the investigation is completed by the police and he’s charged don’t think the kids will believe it . He has told them his own version and they think I’m the crazy one . My children have basically said I’m wrong keeping my youngest away but I got advice from the police and know I’m doing the right thing .

[katzeons]

You know you're doing the right thing hun! And the police will do there job and I'm sure the kids will come to their senses! It's horrible because you cannot do anything you're going on the advice from police so follow what they say for your youngest safety! Once your eldest two know the truth I'm sure they'll come back to you it's hard for them at the moment coz they love their dad and don't believe in him doing anything wrong! But once police investigate and he gets done they'll need you as hard as it is at the moment just keep your distance and keep your head high! When you feel really low talk to someone or do something that makes you happy don't ever feel like you're alone

[Charliemum23]

My kids have also made death threats and harassed me continuesly for weeks and that’s why I couldn’t cope anymore because this isn’t my children speaking at all he is using them as puppets and all I can do is watch as they won’t listen I’ve tried everything. So now for now I’ve had to cut ties to protect my younger child from it all

[Charliemum23]

That is the point I’d got to the other week felt very alone because feel like I’m putting on friends needing to talk about it all the time and I’ve gone from becoming a happy confident person to completely traumatised and my mind is spinning all the time

[katzeons]

That's what friends are for!! You should never worry about putting on people! You'll have your good days and bad days! And if you're getting threats then I'd tell the police that too! I know they're your kids but that is wrong to do wether they like you or not! Probably the best thing cutting ties with them at the moment you gotta think of your youngest! But the truth will
Come
Out

[Charliemum23]

Yes that’s the thing I know the truth will come out and just hope my kids can cope with it when it does . I’m still thinking what’s best to do with the threats I’ve spoke to the police and they said my middle child would be arrested as well as ex and don’t want that as he has his whole life ahead of him and he’s a victim in this to . I’ve blocked all communications and I’m just taking every day as it comes and focusing on my little one as know he’s suffering to not seeing his brothers but had to do what’s right by him . Thank you for your help snd guidance really appreciate it

[katzeons]

That's ok that's what we're here for! Things will get better I know it's hard now but you're strong! And you're strong for your youngest. I know it's hard but you should still let the police do what they need to and if it means arresting your middle child then unfortunately that's the way it has to be because they need to learn that's that is not ok

[unexpectednewstart]

Hi Charliemum23

My husband is also being investigated for similar offences and it's hugely stressful. Have you been able to confide in any friends in real life? It can be hard to due to the social stigma but I find it really helps me cope having friends who know.
Are Children's Services involved? Perhaps it would help your older children to have an explanation of what your ex is accused of from an independent adult? They are there to help support you protect your children. Your 16 year old is still a child and if he has been influenced by your ex then now is the time to get him help.
You are not alone in going through this, it's more common than you realise, hope you have some friends or family to lean on.,