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No time for myself- advice!(2 Posts)
Just a cry for help really..
I fell pregnant when I 20 with someone who I was then in a relationship with. The relationship was not going anywhere, he was very controlling and violent so I ended it. Since he has not been involved and has no intention of being involved.
I was unsure whether to keep the baby as I am only young, had wanted to travel/ possibly go to uni etc and didn’t want to be tied down. It took me a long time to make my decision and eventually I chose to keep the baby as I did not want to feel guilty about an abortion and thought I was going to be supported by family.
The month I gave birth my mother said she was moving away. I have no other family in the area and obviously no contact with the babies father.
I’m just really struggling tbh. I feel like I’m so young and want to do so many things that I’m just not able to do now. I get asked on dates frequently which obviously I can’t go on as I haven’t got anyone to watch the baby. Even simple things like getting my hair done I now cannot do. I feel like all the fears which I had when finding out I was pregnant are now true as I am so alone.
After splitting with the baby’s father I was seeing someone else but the relationship was very toxic so we are no longer together. I guess this has bought on a lot of my feelings as I would love to go and date, go out with friends and have s bit of a pamper to take my mind of things but this can’t happen. I’ve been out for one evening in 9 months and feel like I am taking it out on the baby as I’m not happy this way. I love her but I need some time to myself.
If you have any advice it would be appreciated!
You are right, you need some help.
I’d leave dating for a while and concentrate on sorting the basics. You need a break each week of at least a couple of hours so you can get your hair cut, have a coffee with a friend, attend an interview.
Do you have a mum & baby group? There are lots of mums in the same situation and the trick is to build a group of mums.. Get to know each other, work out who you trust and swap babysitting for each other,
Look up gingerbread in your area, social group for single parents. And get out and about, it will help with the feeling of isolation.
Have you tried asking your mum to come & stay for the occasional weekend?
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