Alone with a 7 week old baby (& a dog) with no one help!

[Lilpop33]

So my ex partner was violent when I was 7months pregnant so I have found myself a single parent. (Loving it) However the 24/7 care with absolutely no break and disrupted sleep is taking its toll!
I have no mum to move in with me and my friends are all busy with careers so only pop in now and again for a couple of hours if I'm lucky.

Has anyone been a single parent with no help and a newborn? Or any advice?
PLEASE HELP!

[Betty74]

I can’t really offer advice but I will say that you will get through this, sleep when the baby does, don’t worry about housework, washing etc. You are already doing fab by leaving your ex and doing it alone, to me that says you are a good Mumma making good decisions for yourself and baby.
Some days will be hard and some will be easy but single parenting can be the most awarding!
You’ve got this, I promise 😘

[Wolfiefan]

It's hard even with the support of a partner. It really is.
Do what needs to be done. Don't set yourself impossible aims. I agree with Betty. Clean and fed you and child. Sod pretty much everything else!
As your baby gets older (congratulations BTW!) can you find baby groups etc to get you out of the house?
Those friends who pop by? Could one hold baby whilst you have a bath or a nap once a week? Or cook you both a meal or walk the dog?
And bloody well done on not staying. They must've taken some strength. Your baby is lucky to have such a strong mum.

[HyacinthsBucket70]

It does get better honest. It's soul destroying for the first few months, but by 8 months all of mine were reliably going to bed by 6/7pm and sleeping through. Once they get to that stage, you get your evenings back to yourself and it keeps you sane. For now, nothing else matters than your baby being OK and everything else can wait - it will still be there in a few weeks time, especially in this heat. Do food shopping etc online to make life easier for yourself.

Have you tried local baby groups just to meet other new mums in the same situation?

[SarahBeeney]

You're at a really difficult bit....weeks of less sleep than you're used to!
Try and get out for a walk,good for you both and the dog.
It's tough on your own,but things will get easier once your baby has a bit more of a routine.
The NCT have coffee mornings where you can meet other Mums with newborns.

[Brainfogmcfogface]

I was. At the time i thought it was the worst thing ever, actually thinking back I had no expectations to meet. I did sleep when the baby slept, I didn’t spend time tidying up, muslins were scattered everywhere, I didn’t have to worry about making or breaking meet ups, I had no one to criticize me, no in laws fighting for access, no arguments with a partner who wasn’t pulling his weight. Talking to other mums when I eventually started going to baby groups made me realize actually, although I was completely alone, unlike them I didn’t have to share my time or baby. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but it does get easier as lo sleeps more and if you do just let go and go with the baby’s sleep pattern you’ll find your body adjusts and you can live in a little bubble just the two of you.

[Hiraeth17]

Hi! I’m in a really similar position! Share the pain (& the joy, my boy is 7 wks and so lush!). I feel so bad for my dog as he is barely getting any walks atm, esp with the heat, which doesn’t help.

Where are you based?

I’m going to go along to some mum groups. Although I am finding it hard seeing my friends with babies postbon gB and seeing all the support and lovely lives they aren’t living. Not in a crazy jealous way... just feel sad that me and my son aren’t experiencing that too (& a weeny bit envious!

Sending love! X

[Hiraeth17]

*posting on FB

[Ginorchoc]

Is does get easier I’m a lone parent. Didn’t see another soul until a breast feeding counsellor made me attend a baby group when daughter was five months old. Once I was out and about it made a huge difference. I was in a new area so didn’t know anyone so had to work hard to persuade myself to keep going and it worked out well. Just eat, sleep and keep active, try baby groups if you can.

[badbadidea]

its hard even with the support of a partner

So obviously harder without

[lyssie29]

I became a single mother to a 3 year old and a 6 month old after my partner died. I have family and friends but no one would look after them and I found it a great struggle. It was really hard and I'd be up all night every night but as time went on I adjusted and I got used to it. Try and get your lo into a sleep routine and make sure you nap when they do. Any housework etc can wait. I'm 2 years in as a single parent and it's much easier now. My then 6 month old is now 2 and goes to playgroup and my eldest is now 5 so is at school. Make sure your lo also has a bedtime (when they are old enough to effectively have one) From 8pm most nights I have my time to myself.

[Wolfiefan]

Erm yes @badbadidea. That was my point.

[Kingsclerelass]

Agree with Hyacinth, it does get better. I found that bit the toughest. The best bit of kit I had was a sling. It meant I could get out for a little while each day which helped me stay sane. If I was awake, i’d put ds in the sling and go out really early while it was still cool.
Hang in there,