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Start using Mumsnet PremiumAbsent Father
(5 Posts)Husband had a cocaine addiction and predilection for Ukrainian escorts. Took me a while but finally showed him the door last September . Hardest thing to do but I'm happier and the house is calmer without him here.
The kids have decided they don't want any contact with him for now and have not seen him since January. He's never explained it telephoned them, he sends random texts once every 4-6 weeks and they don't reply. Father's Day has ended and they never replied to his message this morning nor did they buy him a card. I've told them that I'm absolutely fine with them seeing him and I've never told them the gory details of my ex's behaviour . I've always said he loves them very much but he's just not capable of much more whilst he's taking drugs. He took cocaine while he lived here and my son found some in his wallet so they are aware he has issues .
I'm wondering if I should push them to see him ? They are happy and very loved but jay not sure if I should intervene or not ? Any advice out there ?
How old are your children?
We need to know kids ages , however I am guessing teenagers from what you have said. Courts would listen to teens .
Is there any change in circumstances since he left ?
I have 18g, 14b and 11g. He has not telephoned them once since he left.
He sends them WhatsApp messages every 3 weeks or so. He saw them for 30 mins on Christmas Day and again for an hour in January. They have not wanted to see him since and they don't reply to his messages.
Do you know what happened over Christmas . At that age to be honest I would support them but if they change their mind you will find a way to ensure it is safe ( for 11 and 14year old ) 18 year old is an adult so can do what they want.
I also would stop saying he loves you very much . My reason I think when someone chooses drugs over their children it is a very hard concept . My Ds doesn’t see his dad . I do not want my Ds to grow up thinking the way his dad has behaved is how you treat someone you love
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