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Single mum advice plz

(21 Posts)
3istheMagicNumberr Wed 13-Jun-18 16:16:28

Recently split from OH, I'm on maternity and our baby is 4 months. He's said he'll give me £200 a month. Is this normal? Seems quite low to me especially considering I'm not working.
I don't know exactly what he earns, he's self employed so does differ.
I'm sure he gets around £500 per week

bluetrampolines Wed 13-Jun-18 16:21:40

Contact cms. Any future monies will be calculated from the date you have registered with them.

NorthernSpirit Wed 13-Jun-18 16:28:01

You can check yourself using the CMS calculator

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Maintenance depends on how many overnights he has, whether he supports any other children.

If he does earn £500 a week, has no other children in the household and does the minimum number of overnights a year (0 - 52) he’d be liable to pay £260 a month.

Hannabee123 Wed 13-Jun-18 21:57:29

Depends on his wage I only get about 165 a month

Also get in touch with the job centre / council or go on the government website you should get child benefit, tax credits and other stuff ( I get universal credit in my area ) so check what benefits you can get to help.

3istheMagicNumberr Wed 13-Jun-18 22:23:00

I am claiming child benefit. Wasnt aware I could get tax credits though so I'll look into that.
So do I get the same money off him while on maternity as id get if I was working?
Scared to make things official cos feel he could make it look like he gets paid less than he does and I might be worse off. £200 is a joke though, he lives at His mum's too so can easy afford more

Hannabee123 Thu 14-Jun-18 00:33:19

You could call child maintenance options? They might put you onto the CSA but they can calculate what you should receive and help you enforce it.
I go through the CSA because my ex is abusive and we have a no contact thing in place. He isn't agreeable at all.

www.cmoptions.org/

Go on there and give them a call to help you get it sorted and work out which arrangement would work for you

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 00:41:40

This is ridiculous. I think once a couple splits up who has kids the person who ain't got the children should have to automatically go on CSA.

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 00:54:22

Need some advice. Help!!!!!

My BD is a deadbeat and constantly tells me he wants nothing to do with his kids. He doesn't show interest, doesn't pay and is a nasty person.
I am fine with that be aide I've been doing it by myself for over 3 years but the problem is his mum wants to have them in her life but they live together.
Am I a bad person to stop letting my kids go round there?

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 00:59:44

CSA doesn't take cases anymore, its the child maintenance service. By the time they've taken their cut you might get 200. But the benefits will take that as income and lower your benefits accordingly. So in my opinion its negligible.

youloveitorhateit Thu 14-Jun-18 01:01:23

Sounds about right tbf

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:02:11

@Ytaylorx2 what do the kids want ?

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:05:23

Oops forgot to add that the child maintenance service struggle extracting money from self employed men. especially the men with a semi good accountant. Take the 200 via a personal legal contract.

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:06:34

@Blighty0204 one don't know him cause she is little and the other wants to be around him but I just feel like am forcing her on him when his action has make it clear how he feels

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:10:30

@Ytaylorx2 was thinking more of the grandmother than the father. My parents never got on with their parents so i never had grandparents and i know what i missed out on. You're doing a great job by your kids but my bias says let them have the family that also want to do right by them.

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:12:46

Invite her to you and cite its less friction than going to hers.

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:14:56

@Blighty0204 I understand what your saying but I just think that it isn't fair that he doesn't help at all one of our kids has a disability and he doesn't even no what is wrong with her cause he wasn't bothered to come to any appointment or even ask.

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:17:58

@Blighty0204 I can't stand her myself but I put my feeling aside so she can have a relationship with her grandkid but I refuse to do that with her son unless he steps up lol🙈

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:29:52

The dads a seperate matter. Things need to calm down for you and then one day when he changes his mind and the kids really want a relationship with him. you need to swallow your pride, buy a punch bag lol and be the better person for your kids.

Ytaylorx2 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:32:16

@Blighty0204 yeah 100%
In time I will be less mad about the situation. I think she should just kick him out lol

Blighty0204 Thu 14-Jun-18 01:35:24

you'd never kick your kid out right ? same thing. Mothers love is mostly indestructible. Some dads too. i wouldn't be on mumsnet otherwise lol

LoveSummerLife Fri 15-Jun-18 17:55:58

Just wanted to say that child maintenance isn't considered income so doesn't affect tax credits

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