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Ex partner doesnt care

(8 Posts)
Hollyjohnson6 Mon 28-May-18 00:29:07

I am 23 weeks pregmant today with my 1st and struggling severly with perinatal depression. So not only has this been a very difficult experience it is being made much harder by the babys father my now ex partner.

He doesnt make any contact to support or show any interest andthat is making me feel even more lonely and making me struggle even more. I am not sure what I should do as i have begged for support.

He isnt the best role model as is involved with drugs (only just found this out) so i wont be able to trust him with the baby alone when she is here. I also dont think i should deny access but he isnt fit to be a dad nor is he showing any interest which is a huge shock as he never used to belike this when we was together and i am so confused about what to do. Just looking for opinions really x

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 28-May-18 00:45:40

Sorry you’re having a difficult time flowers

He sounds crap so I’d look elsewhere for support. Do you have friends, colleagues, family you can lean on? Have you spoken to your midwife about your depression and asked for help? That’s what they’re there for and they’ll want to support you.

You know you can’t trust him and he’s not there for you, focus on yourself and your baby, try and meet other mums to be if you’d like to for some people to spend time with who can relate to how you’re feeling.

I really hope things look up for you.

Hollyjohnson6 Mon 28-May-18 00:57:45

Annelovesgilbert

Thank you.
I have been referred to the perinatal team now. All my friends don't have any interest any more. I havent seen a friend in months. My family are great and i am focusing on myself. Im just unsure if cutting him out is a good thing to do or if it is frowned upon?

I have replied in the wrong way too i think as i am new and cant work the app all too well sorry x

FirstTimeSingleMum Mon 28-May-18 01:00:53

Thank you.
I have been referred to the perinatal team now. All my friends don't have any interest any more. I havent seen a friend in months. My family are great and i am focusing on myself. Im just unsure if cutting him out is a good thing to do or if it is frowned upon x

Weezol Mon 28-May-18 01:06:24

Cutting him out seems quite reasonable if he's into drugs. He seems to be cutting himself out anyway, so I'd let him get on with it and concentrate on looking after yourself during your pregnancy.

You are replying in the right way. If you want to reply to a specific poster (say, to make it clear you are answering a question from them), just put @ in front of their user name (no spaces) - it should make it bold when the post appears.

1stTimeMumofOne Mon 28-May-18 01:12:01

Thank you @Weezol that tips a big help.

I didnt want to be judges for just cutting him out and i was worryong it wasnt roght for the baby as she is entitled to have a dad.

But you are totally right he has seporated himself completely and because of his lifestyle i am acting in the best interest for her (i hope)

Louw12345 Mon 28-May-18 10:18:36

I would just forget about him for now. Focus on yourself and your baby, get yourself strong and well and be happy.
The most important thing is you and your child.

However, once he sees your doing well he will be back in touch, so make your your where you need to be to not fall into the trap.

If he's taking coke it's a very selfish drug they will never put you first while taking that. (My ex was the same).

I wish you all the luck in the world

SusieQwhereareyou Mon 28-May-18 18:52:59

My ex is an alcoholic and after we split he proved he couldn’t be trusted with the kids. We used a contact centre on advice of social services - the benefit of this is not only that it is supervised but also a test of commitment if they show up.

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