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No contact for 8 weeks - last trimester

(6 Posts)
Emmie87 Mon 23-Apr-18 20:25:16

I have two children 6&8 from previous marriage & I'm currently 35weeks pregnant. The babies father has been inconsistent through out, not made any effort to help me, only attended one scan & has been up & down with communication. He seems to follow a pattern, where he can be present for three weeks & then goes downhill. We have never lived together & the baby wasn't planned but we decided together we wanted to keep it.
I wanted him to build up & have a good relationship with my children before the baby was born but he hasn't tried at all. He always says he is too busy, but I know we're just not the priority to him. At 27 weeks pregnant I got really upset & said I couldn't cope with how he was anymore & my children need to feel comfy with him too & he needs to make more of an effort. I just mean a friendship, I don't expect step dad of the year they have a great dad off their own! Anyway I haven't heard from him, since.. this was 8 weeks ago.
It's been awfully emotionally but had to keep it together for the children & still working full time. He told me he would financially support me through maternity leave etc but I am so worried as looks like that won't happen & i genuinely don't know how I am going to make ends meet. I have written to him three times asking what he wants to do financially & access wise but nothing! Any advice welcome :-)

OP’s posts: |
Starlight2345 Mon 23-Apr-18 21:54:07

I think you are going to have to plan to go it alone .
I would go silent for now . Inform him when baby is born and if he still doesn’t step up go to cms .

It sucks but he is not someone you can rely on at this point

IveGotNoClothes Mon 23-Apr-18 22:08:59

Best advice??

Go to CMS, don't even tell him when the baby arrives.

I'm saying this from experience.

OreoMini Mon 23-Apr-18 22:26:30

Don’t message him again until the baby is born.

When the baby is born go through CMS, he doesn’t have to pay you anything before the baby is born.

Let him contact you to arrange when he wants to come and see his child.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn Mon 23-Apr-18 22:29:28

Why do you need him to have a good relationship with your other children? He will only be looking after his own child, not them.

If you are not together then your maternity leave is down to you to cover, he will only be liable for child support.

Emmie87 Mon 23-Apr-18 22:38:24

Thanks ladies.
Boxsetsandpopcorn we was in a relationship until he just stopped responding, so that's why he was going to help with maternity & due to him spending time at my home, around my children it was very important that he makes an effort with them, so they feel comfortable x

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