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Advice please

(9 Posts)
sheballs Mon 16-Apr-18 23:41:10

My kids are nearly 3&4, been split from there dad for 7 months now, he comes to my house to see the kids twice a week for a hour on a week night after work. Which so far has been working out fine. But now he has a partner and she doesn't like him coming to mine. He's asked me to drop the kids to his house instead now every week, which wouldn't be a problem if he lived close but from my house to his is a 45 min drive in rush hour traffic, which could take me over a hour, as he doesn't get home until 5 and my 3 year old goes to bed at 7. I don't really want to commit myself to doing that every week as it would cost me a lot in petrol. He won't meet me in the middle, as iv suggested. It's hard as they are still little. What should I do?? Am I in the wrong for saying no?? Advice please

OP’s posts: |
IlikemyTeahot Mon 16-Apr-18 23:50:04

No your not in the wrong.
He needs to remember he had these children before that relationship...she seriously needs to deal with her insecurities. How is she already trying to control how and when ex sees his kids its shameful behaviour on her side and i hope he twigs on sooner than later. I see he moved on quite quickly either way its seems like a pretty new relationship so Its absolutley none of her business at this point. His childrens needs should always come first.
Remind him about times and disruption to kids routine and leave it there...hopefully he makes the right decision.

NorthernSpirit Tue 17-Apr-18 09:08:13

Personally I don’t think he should be going to your house. He needs to start rebuilding his relationship with the kids in his space.

He should be doing half of the travelling, it’s not fair to expect you to do it all. I wound put your foot down.

sheballs Tue 17-Apr-18 16:28:31

Ok thank you for advice. He does have the both the kids over night once a month at his and I take them and pick them back up. I don't mind helping out as traffics not so bad on a weekend

OP’s posts: |
Aprilmightbemynewname Tue 17-Apr-18 16:34:12

Unfortunately as canny as you want to be you are enabling him to put zero effort into seeing his dc. Adding his gf to the mix he wants even more enabling now!! Tell him to Google soft play /cafes near your home and start parenting his own dc.

Tobestronger Tue 17-Apr-18 16:37:57

He should be doing half of the travelling at least. In my friends case the court has ordered that the Dad does all the travelling.

PrettyLittIeThing Tue 17-Apr-18 17:49:10

Don't agree with the first comment. Pretty much most women wouldn't want their partner visiting their exes house to see their kids. It was bound to be a problem when he met a partner. It's perfectly reasonable for him to see them away from you. But he should meet half way.

Aprilmightbemynewname Tue 17-Apr-18 20:12:43

At 17 I had a dc and a house.

Kingsclerelass Tue 17-Apr-18 20:40:20

My ex comes to my house because he lives 75 minutes away and I don't want our dc spending two & half hours on the motorway every visit.
When ex arrives, I go out or mow the lawn or Hoover. Get your ex to explain a few basic facts to the OW. And say no to acting chauffeur.

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