How to split Easter holidays with ex?

[RoseNarene]

Hey, having a disagreement with my ex here and need to know how you split the school holidays.

Our court order states that we split Easter 50/50. The holidays started on Thurs 29th March. Kids go back to school on Monday 16th April.

I include the weekend of 14th/15th April as the holidays, which means there's a total of 18 days there, to be split equally so we both get 9 days each.

Because the council website states that the holidays run until Friday 13th, my ex says that the holidays are 16 days long and so we get 8 days each, so he wants to come and collect them tomorrow morning (as opposed to what I thought he would be doing, which is collect them Saturday morning.)

I know that his arrangement actually works out better for me because that final weekend of 14th/15th would be mine, so effectively I get an extra day. But please ignore that fact if you can!! I just want to know how those of you who also split holidays 50/50 do it, for future reference really.

So how would you do it? Or how are you doing it?

[NorthernSpirit]

Its 17 full days and 19 nights. Is it really worth arguing over?

Dad wants to pick them up on on Friday rather than Saturday. I’m guessing you have them for the majority of the time? Is it that much that you ‘let’ their own dad have them for 1 extra day?

How would you like it if the shoe was on the other foot and he dictated and controlled contact? Just a thought....

It’s no big deal.

[NorthernSpirit]

My OH’s EW ‘controls’ contact within a minute of the court order. He picks them up tomorrow (Fri) and drops then back Tue eve. He’d love to have them more but the mum doesn’t ‘allow’ it.

[privateporcupine]

This particular holiday:

DS13 went to stay last Thursday night, plan being he’d return to me this Friday night, and then be with me until next Saturday, his normal day for staying at dads. But he came to stay with me on Monday night, just because dad lives nearby, knows I was off the Tuesday and gave me the option of having him back for hat night if I wanted.

But he stays with his dad at least 2/3 nights a week anyway, so nobody feels like they’re taking time from the other iyswim

[RoseNarene]

NorthernSpirit Did you even read what I wrote? He gets more time with the kids in the arrangement that I am proposing.

[NorthernSpirit]

OP your post isn’t clear to me at all.

Dad wants to pick the kids up tomorrow (Fri morning) and you think he should collect them Sat. So how are you giving him more time when in your proposal he’ll pick them up a day later?

Don’t split hairs, is it worth the agro?

[Starlight2345]

I think your post does make you sound like you are splitting hairs..

Can I ask what the issue actually is with his proposal.

[MyBoysAndI]

We alternate weekends and have set weeks to cover for school holidays.

Why is it just this one that is split? What do you do with the other holidays?

[RoseNarene]

All I'm trying to do is get a feel for how other people split a holiday like this 50/50.

[SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad]

We maintain the usual 50/50 pattern, and keep to the days we'd normally have. That is, unless one of us is going away. This holiday, my ex is away all next week, so I won't have my usual days then. But I'm taking them away in the summer holidays, so it all balances out.

[MyBoysAndI]

The only holiday that we have split is summer. I have Easter two weeks - but he still has his contact weekend. He has Christmas two weeks and again l still have them in my weekend. Christmas/Boxing day split between us.

I then have Feb and Oct half term. He has May. I do 4 weeks of summer and he does 3.

He does less out of choice and not because l want more but he doesn't get as much leave as me and needs time to himself

[SarBear34]

Technically he is correct. School
Holidays end on the Friday, I wouldn’t include the weekend.

[Chasingsquirrels]

I'd include the weekends at both ends in the number of days in a school holiday, so for us Easter holidays is 17 days.
We split holidays 50/50, with maybe a slight imbalance in my favour but that probably only down to me having more of the odd days here and there. The rest of the time it is one school pickup and overnight a week and half every weekend.

I think he is being pedantic that the holidays end on the Friday and you are splitting hairs over the actual days - especially when his arrangement seems to work better for you.

In future it might be a good idea to arrange actual handover days and time well in advance (e.g. we have already sorted the summer holidays) just so you all know where you are.