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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

1 2

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Want to put my son up for adoption.

37 replies

LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 15:50

Exactly that. Can't bare him anymore and I don't feel like I love him.

OP posts:

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RLOU88 · 04/04/2018 15:55

Oh goodness, OP how old is your son and how long have you felt this way

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Atalune · 04/04/2018 16:01

Have you got any real life support?

Can you tell us more?

I’d the dad in the picture and able to pick up some more contact time?

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GeminiWarrior · 04/04/2018 16:04

Oh OP, can you tell us more?

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NanFlanders · 04/04/2018 16:06

You sound like you are at the end of your tether. You can talk to the Samaritans any time for free on 116 123, if you need someone to talk to in real life.

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muttmad · 04/04/2018 16:06

OP I've seen your previous posts, please make a GP appointment and tell them how you're feeling, they are there to help and give you the support you need.

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Ncha · 04/04/2018 16:12

Are you in Manchester? If you need an ear and a cup of tea Im happy to chat x

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notapizzaeater · 04/04/2018 16:19

Have you spoken to your health visitor ? Doctor ? Friends ? Us ?

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HeartCurrent · 04/04/2018 16:34

How old are you OP do you have friends or family of a similar age with a child you talk to? I hope your okay

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:39

Ncha that's so lovely, unfortunately I'm not

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:40

My son is 10 months. Father has no contact. He just cries 24/7 and I only get about 2/3 hours sleep a night. I've seen many a doctor and other health professionals. None seem to think there is anything wrong with him. I have seen a gp for myself, antidepressants don't help. I just really don't enjoy this. He's never happy. I'm so tired.

OP posts:

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wowbutter · 04/04/2018 16:41

Do you have any family?
Have you always felt like this, or is it getting suddenly worse?

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:41

I have one of two friends with children from groups I go to regularly. But everyone is always to busy to socialise outside of this

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:42

Yes, my mum helps out from time to time. And I'd say it's getting worse as he's only getting more difficult

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ThatsWotSheSaid · 04/04/2018 16:45

Crying 24/7 isn’t normal no wonder your feeling awful. Go to A and E and refuse to leave until they tell you want is wrong with him.
This will pass and one day you will hardly remember what this period was like.

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KirstenRaymonde · 04/04/2018 16:47

Has he been assessed for anything like a cows milk protein allergy? My friends little boy was inconsolable for a year until he wasn’t diagnosed. How long did you try anti-depressants for? They can take a while to kick in, or it could be you need a different one. Could you ask for counselling to support the anti-depressants? Please tell your GP that you’re feeling this desperate

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BasilThirty · 04/04/2018 16:47

I really really sympathise. I have a ten month old who is similar, they cry or whine ALL day no matter what and all doctors say is they're fine. We've tried eliminating certain foods etc but no difference.
They do generally sleep at night though which helps me through.
No wonder you're feeling so awful, it's such a hideous situation. Everyone keeps telling me they get easier when they can walk so I'm holding out for that as currently no real crawling yet at the moment, only interested in standing.

Have you got a children's centre nearby you can go to for some practical advice or help?

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Eeeeek2 · 04/04/2018 16:51

Does he by any chance have eczema and/or mucus poos and/or cry's a lot after milk feeds/wants to have milk very often? If so is it possible that it's a cows milk allergy?

Crying 24/7 and really miserable was my ds until a dr picked up his extreme eczema could mean cmpa. He was a different child within 48 hours on special formula.

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isitfridayyet1 · 04/04/2018 16:58

Could your mum stay over a couple of nights and do the 'night shift' in order for you to get some decent rest? I have a 9 month old and I understand the exhaustion you must feel.

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:59

He is lactose intolerant. So that was all sorted out a while ago, he doesn't seem to get tummy aches anymore and has normal bowel movements.

I was on antidepressants for maybe 3 years. Changed them a couple of times and changed again when he was born

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LJ17xx · 04/04/2018 16:59

My mum has two young children so she's not really able to do this

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Moominfan · 04/04/2018 17:01

Op sleep deprivation does crazy things to the mind. It's a form of torture. Sorry your having such a rough time, I hope you have someone real life to have a good vent to.

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seven201 · 04/04/2018 17:01

Is he worse when flat/not upright? Has silent reflux been ruled out. It's very rare for children to be lactose intolerant, are you sure it's not cow's milk protein allergy? My daughter is nearly two and still dairy free and only just stopping her silent reflux meds.

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FancyNewBeesly · 04/04/2018 17:03

My boys both have CMPA but took me a while to realise they are also allergic to soy. Things improved a lot when I cut that out. Hang in there. I remember feeling like I couldn’t manage another hour about that age. It got so much easier after they turned 1.

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Qcumber · 04/04/2018 17:04

Oh OP I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I was exactly the same, awful PND and a difficult baby. It feels so endless and like there's just no way out.
I have no advice to offer really except reassurance that it does end. A year on and my DD is an angel and the bond we have is amazing. Looking back it felt so impossible at the time but you just need to keep going.
Definitely keep on at the doctors, both for your son and for yourself. Different anti depressants work for different people and it may take a while to find the right one for you. Also when I told the gp how o was feeling I was referred for therapy as a priority and seen within a few weeks so try and push for that too.
What I'm about to say is in no way intended to offend you or blame you but it's something I've realised in the past few months. I think that because of my depression, my DDs crying felt much more overwhelming and frequent than it really was and I also think my mood affected her. I've seen such a change in her since I've become happier, but I don't know if this is a coincidence or whether they can tell that you're not happy. Maybe try smiling at him even if he's wailing. I know it's so hard but just try to be bright and reassuring.
But I'm not saying that to minimise what you're going through now. It's sounds truly awful and if you think there's something wrong with him then you know him best and you should keep trying to get help for him.
Remember, you're feeling this low because you love him so much and you don't know how to help him. You're not a bad mum, you're an amazing caring mum who wants what's best for her little boy and he's where he's supposed to be.
Sorry this is so rambly and jumbled, just wanted to let you know there's a light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel.

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niceupthedance · 04/04/2018 17:04

Did you contact your HV about support like Home start or children's centre?

If I were you I'd also contact social services and tell them you can't cope.