Name changed for this. At the end of my tether if I'm honest. 2 dcs aged 8 & 6. Eldest is autistic. Ex cheated and then moved 120 miles away back home to mum and dad.
I've since re married and dc 3 is on the way.
The last couple of months I have become increasingly frustrated with my ex. Had another post about how he's more of a fun uncle than a dad. He sees them eow and some time in school holidays. Dcs travel to see him, we meet half way at a service station on a Friday after school.
He speaks to them maybe twice a week. Isn't involved in ds autism. Doesn't know how they are getting on at school. Just isn't a parent like that. He sees his role as a father as 2 days out of 14. He hands them back and that's his bit done. I've given up trying to involve him in things - especially with ds. He doesn't have a clue about hospital appointments, school meetings...nothing.
Like I say, I've given up but now even picking up and dropping off times are an issue.
He works for a courier company and will never ever know what time he's going to finish work until the actual day. I dropped them off on Thursday for the week. I messaged him on Wednesday to say I would be at the service station for 6.30 if he could be there for around then. I then get a phonecalll the next day saying he won't be leaving work until 6. He can meet me at 8.30pm.
- This is too late for me dcs. By the time they actually got home, it would be 10pm
- I cannot plan anything. It's ridiculous that I don't know what time I am dropping them off until that afternoon.
- In this particular case, dcs has a swimming lesson which is half an hour away from my house but on the way to the service station. I wasn't going to go all the way home for half an hour and then set back off again. Part of the journey was already done.
This will be the same when I pick them up next week. He is working on the Thursday (dcs nana and grandad look after them when they are there but refuse to do any drop offs/pick ups which is fair. It's not their job.) and I won't know what time to collect them until that day. If he finishes at 6 again, he won't be home until 7 and then that's a 10pm home time.
On the weekends they travel, they come home Sunday and he doesn't work and that's fine. But the dropping them off is a nightmare. Again I'm just waiting around for him to tell me when he is ready.
On top of this, when he does have them in school holidays, he constantly changes the days.
First, we was only wanting them over the easter days - 4 days. Then he asked if he could have them for the first week as his mum wanted to have them. I said that was fine. Then he changed it to the second week.
I'm so fed up of him. Like I say, I've given up on him being an actual parent. I told him on Thursday, all I expect from him is the pick the kids up at a suitable time and pay his maintenance. That's all he has to do as a father and he isn't even doing that.
What do I do? Does this sound like it needs a court order? Please remember there is an autistic child involved in all this also.