Just wondering really....
2 dcs, kids see him every other weekend.
They speak about twice a week on the phone.
I'm just wondering how involved your ex's are with the dcs?
For example, ex has no idea about how dcs are going on at school, who their friends are. How they get on in after school clubs. What new foods they like, what they don't like. What they've been up to - like going to the cinema etc.
Had parents evening last week and mentioned it to him. He said he would ring later that night and ask how they are doing - he never did.
Now I used to keep him informed in absolutely everything when dcs were younger. Partly because they were too young to explain anything themselves and partly because I thought it was my job too.
Over the years I've learnt that if I tell him stuff, hes really not that interested. It's just an 'oh right' sort of reply. So I suppose I've just told him less and less things.
I sort of also feel now dcs are older, he can ask them this stuff. He can ring and say 'good day at school?' 'Learn anything good?' Etc.
When he does ring, I leave them to get on with it but I can always hear the silences in the conversation.
It's impossible for him to see them more as he moved over 2 hours away from them. But I'm starting to feel he's drifting further from them as they grow up.
Should I start keeping informed again? Or is it up to him? If there's anything major happening then obviously I let him know. Dcs do ring him but I sort of have to ask them to a few times, neither of them ever really want too.
I sort of feel it's not my place to keep the relationship up with them, that's his responsibility but I'd hate to see them drift apart.
When he does have the dcs, he is good. He takes them out and does things with them and they absolutely love it. But i think that's all it is. They love spending time with their dad cos they go on days out and get new toys (something I can't do that often as can't afford it) but from the emotional and 'being there' side of a parent, it just isn't there from him.
Like dd has some friendship problems recently and me and dd both rang him to speak to him about it. All he said was 'oh well, sure you will sort it' there was no advice, no love or sympathy which I think dd really needed from her dad.
Does anyone else get this? I might not be explaining myself well but I know what I mean x
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Does your dcs dad ask about the kids?
14 replies
thunder10 · 04/03/2018 13:10
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