Child's Passport

[NJW86]

Hi

I am wondering if anyone has any experience of this?

I obtained a Passport for my son just before he was 1. He will be 4 later this year. His name was changed by Deed Poll a year ago without the consent of his Dad. This is because he has not been in his life now for over 2 years. He doesn't even attempt to see him or contact him!

Raising my son with my surname made the only sense to me, as my family is the only family he is around. His Deed Poll has been accepted everywhere and he is now using my surname which we are all happy with including my son.

His passport has obviously been issued in his Birth Name. When it comes to changing his name on his passport will the Deed Poll document be enough? I have been told about court orders etc but also been told by a Solicitor not to bother as it will bring him back into our lives, which for both our sakes I do not want this to happen.

To give you some background, my son was unwanted by his father. He saw him as an accessory rather than a responsibility. For the first 9 months he was around but did nothing not so much as a pack of nappies or milk. He was abusive and regularly told me i'd made my bed and took great pleasure in watching me struggle at being a new mom and our abusive relationship. At 9 months old I couldn't take any more. For my own health and the wellbeing of my son we separated, in with he didn;t contact my son until he was 13 months old. He then returned sparsely, constantly not showing and letting my son down, and at 18 months old he text me to say his girlfriend was moving back home to the UK and this is where he drew the line. I asked what he meant and he said he chose her. I remember saying, remember what you have just said to me , and I never heard from him again. He pays maintenance, but refused to, so this is being paid via his employer. And the reason for me taking this action is because he left me and my son in a substantial sum of debt which will take me 6 years to repay at 300 a month. So please do not judge me for this. The maintenance covers a third of the debt payment so I struggle every month.

Anyway...Has anybody had any experience of changing their child's surname on a passport without the other parents consent?

Thanks in advance

[Lupinslupinelady]

Ask a family law solicitor - they often give half an hour's free legal advice.

And well done for surviving.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I haven't got any useful advice, but didn't want to read and run, and did want to say well done for building a good life with your son away from this useless man.

[Fintress]

When I got divorced I used a deed poll to get a new passport in my maiden name which was issued without question. I'm not au fair with children's passports but you could email/ring the passport office and ask if your child can get a new passport based on the deed poll.

Bear in mind passports are going up by a substantial amount at the end of March if you apply by post but if apply online then it's only about £3 increase. Good luck.

[ThisLittleKitty]

I've heard that the passport office won't accept it so please do update on the outcome.

My ex is very similar to yours. Wants nothing to do with our kids but refuses to allow me to change my dds surname. Also seems to enjoy seeing me struggle because "I chose to have kids" like he played no part in it.

[NJW86]

Thank you for your lovely replies.

I have travelled with my son abroad a few times now with his Birth Certificate. Every time I have been questioned what our relationship is DESPITE being named as his Mother on his birth certificate. Although I am grateful that these procedures are in place, each time on departure and arrival I am greeted with a load of questions with sarcasm, all because my son carries the surname of his absent father. Now this makes me quite annoyed as even despite him being absent by his own choice I AM THE ONE being questioned about where he is, or if he knows etc. This man doesn’t even know my sons favourite colour, favourite toy, anything! He doesn’t know he is doing well in pre school and who his best friends are. So why the hell should he get a choice what I choose to do with my son!!

I have spoken to a family Solicitor who have said about court order/residency orders but he would need to be contacted. The one was really quite blunt, which I am thankful for, and said this man doesn’t care. He isn’t going to take you to court for access as he doesn’t want it. Just go and enjoy your life! Dont waste your money!
It was at that point I did just that, we haven’t looked back but that doesn’t change the fact that when travelling we are questioned. My son is still young so at the moment doesn’t understand but at some point when older he will be asked questions too.
I last contacted a Solicitor a few weeks back about doing a Will. I wanted to specify legal guardians for my son. Sadly I was hit with the fact that without a CO/RO, should anything happen to me, his absent Dad would automatically get full PR of my son. This made me really distraught, and triggered pretty bad anxiety as it highlighted just how seriously PR is taken in law, but not in real life with some people that have it. I mean you wouldn't hand a child over to a stranger which im sorry, essentially he is! Of course he would have to come for him, but still its not a nice thought that it could happen, whether that ‘could’ is small or not.
I just feel it is so unfair that PR is taken so seriously when he hasn’t taken is PR seriously at all. In fact what he has done now is considered willfull abandonment.

I’ve read the guidelines on passport name changes and they do seem very strict on their policies. It doesn’t seem to matter if you argue your situation. But in reality, I bet there are thousands of kids in my sons situation, who’s Mom doesn’t have a court order, but has to worry about travelling and being questioned and potentially not being allowed to travel, all because their child's dad has been very unresponsible with his duties as a Dad. Just seems very unfair when his school, doctors, bank account etc all have his new surname