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Anyone want to join my thread? Newly single mum here. Only 3 days in

(15 Posts)
Meetmeonamonday Wed 17-Jan-18 11:05:55

I'm a mum of 3 DC under 5, DH left Monday so I'm looking for ongoing support and tips on lone parenting and co parenting moving forward. Some of you may have seen my other thread

Kingsclerelass Wed 17-Jan-18 16:46:14

Been single here for 6 years. Welcome to chaos grin

The things I took a while to realise are
1. You can do just as good a job of the important things as a two parent household
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help. People are generally lovely and will normally come to your aid
3. As far as your children are concerned you are a superhero, and they will still think that even if they have fish fingers three times in a week and you haven't hoovered for a fortnight.

mummypig14 Wed 17-Jan-18 18:23:36

Write up a parenting plan - it made me very upset to do as it was very 'final' that me and exP were no longer a family with DS. However we have so far managed to agree on most things and avoided court etc by outlining rules and guidelines from the beginning!

Gordonbennit Wed 17-Jan-18 18:56:00

Hi all

I will be a single mum to boys age 3,5 &7 in a few weeks when their dad moves out haven't told the kids yet & am bricking it!

I'm sure all us mums all have more strength than we all know but the practicalities of it are starting to sink in now, like bedtime stories in multiple rooms after school clubs and baths etc.

Scary but yes we can all support each other and vent through things like this!!!

You could (as I do) think of all the other single parents you know and what a great job they do & how they manage to do everything - I'm planning to do this when times feel stressful & over whelming.

Ilovecrumpets Wed 17-Jan-18 20:07:40

Hello - I’d like to join to! Recently ( last 3 weeks) become a single mum to two boys , 5 and just 3, after my husband left ( although he does still see them).

Husband has always travelled a lot ( about 4 months of the year) and worked 7 days but somehow this still feels different! Am scared and worried but hoping somehow we will all be ok!

Meetmeonamonday Wed 17-Jan-18 22:39:51

Nice to hear you all, I love crumpets I hear you entirely, this is a whole new level

TreacleFarl Wed 17-Jan-18 23:16:49

Hi OP, I have been single for just over a year with one toddler DS, it has flown in. You can get a lot of support on the line parents thread, I usually just lurk but find much in common with other posters and it is very supportive.

The first couple of months are the hardest but you will get through them. I started to feel so much better about everything after a while and wondered why we stayed together for so long!

I always remember when, like you, I posted on MN for tips and someone said a single mum is a 'routine queen' and this has really helped. I plan as much as possible so everything is ready to go. Online groceries are a life saver and meal plans so I'm never left short etc Get advice on what you might be entitled to if applicable as this can help ease financial stress too.

Another good bit of advice was don't put too much pressure and stress on yourself. Dishes can wait, the house will be messy sometimes (all the time in my case) but looking after yourself is much more important.

I really hope that you and others get some good support and advice here. One year on and although being a single mum can still be stressful at times I still sit and think about how it was 100% the best thing that happened.

TreacleFarl Wed 17-Jan-18 23:17:15

Sorry, paragraph fail!

Meetmeonamonday Wed 17-Jan-18 23:20:41

Hi treacle thank you so much for writing. I am in bed now and feeling very low. I just wish for my body to go to sleep and tomorrow to then be a better day

Gordonbennit Thu 18-Jan-18 12:22:44

Did you finally manage to drop to sleep?

I keep waking in the night with racing thoughts ranging from - oh what have I done to oooh can't wait perhaps I'll find some romance even in the future (even though this is my last priority!)

Not sure about you guys but I think of
My parents and many I know of their generation who have lived in a loveless marriage - it was not nice to witness and I always looked at other kids whose parents were so in love and wished mine were too....I'm hoping I'm saving my kids from that.

I might be wrong but it helps my head for now.

Hope your day is going ok meetme xx big hugs to all of us xx

Meetmeonamonday Thu 18-Jan-18 20:37:17

Hiya thanks for the message, a bit like you my feelings have been a bit all over the place today, sad and desperate, panicky, freedom, the whole range x

eve34 Sat 20-Jan-18 03:28:51

Hello there

I am a few weeks in on being single. We dragged it out to have Christmas together then it went to shit. Ex worked away 6 months of the year so kids are use to him not being here and I'm use to being on my own. It all just seems so final. Although we were struggling I had hoped we would work it out.

How is everyone else doing? I'm an emotional mess and just want this to stop.

mangababeuk Fri 02-Feb-18 06:29:17

Hi. Single mum here too - my choice. We're all doing the best we can and I sincerely believe thats enough. My mum was also a single mum with two kids (I only have dd), so I take strength in looking at her escape of how to do it well with pride.

mommyof3boys Sat 10-Feb-18 21:38:30

My husband decided our marriage was over and had been unhappy for years (!)
He's not only got a new girlfriend (12 years younger) he won't move out of the family home.

taxxigirl Sat 17-Feb-18 01:01:24

I'll join. Lone parenting for 30 hours so far. She's had an emotional affair with her boss, and lied about it a lot. I'm done. I'm on my own. We both work full time, own a money drain of a house, childcare etc. Ashamed to say she did almost all the money management so I'm vague on figures. DS is 18 months today, always been high needs - reflux, bf until 14mo, even now can barely leave him in a room for a minute without a meltdown. I'm the birth mother.

What a nightmare. Sorry to not be able to give anything positive but support would be amazing.

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