How odd. Do you think he has met someone and wants to play the ‘dad of the year but my ex is an evil bitch’ card?
I’d want to establish his motives before enabling any contact. Has he been paying maintenance to you? Do you have any contact with his wider family?
I think there is a very real risk that any interest in your son could be only temporary, which could be utterly devastating for him.
Maybe suggest a meeting just the two of you to discuss? He is essentially a stranger now after all. If his attitude towards you is anything other than respectful and cooperative I’d be doubly on your guard.
I would suggest you look into the Child Sex Offenders Disclosure Scheme - Sarah's Law if any adult I wasn't totally sure about may come into contact with my child.
Find out more about what's likely to happen in court. It could be the best option for you, they may get him to pay up AND keep his distance.
I wouldn't introduce them without getting professional guidance. I prefer the idea of Christmas cards and gifts from the Dad, your child can reciprocate if he wants. I also wouldn't meet him yourself, you could be too open to manipulation.
He has to do a LOT of work before it gets to court. ( which btw costs him lots and you nothing except the time the hearing takes). First he has to apply for parental responsibility. ( which he will get if you admit he is father. No point in denying it if you know it's true as court will order dna)... then you have to have mediation (£200 per hour) and IF you can't get agreement, then it goes to court.
Personally as above I would tell him he can start with letters, presents, and slowly introduce himself. Maintenance as well. ! If he doesn't agree to your timetable he can jump through all the hoops listed above.
no, kittensinmydinner he doesn't need parental responsibility to apply for a child arrangements order.
And even if he applied for a parental responsibility order, it is not inevitable that he would get one, even if his paternity is not in dispute, because he has not been a parent in any real sense.
But it is correct that he must apply for a mediation meeting first, and if you go to that, it's your chance to explain that there won't be any face-to-face meetings before a long process of building a relationship and trust.
I would ignore him tbh. Any human being who can ignore their child for 8 years needs to prove themselves worthy of the privilege of being a parent imo. I suspect he'll slink back off if ignored.
if he takes you to court - fine. Go in and explain that you were worried this was a ploy after 8 long silent years but will happily facilitate contact provided it is done in the best interests of your child. And can the court back-date on your maintenance application you have filed while they are at it.
I would ask him if he is now planning to pay maintance.
While people on here will tell you they are not connected it may well show a side he is actually interested in the childs well being.
I would ask to meet him as well. Take a look online what he has been up to.It might give you some clues..If he has worded it as you said he doesn't sound like someone who has your DC's best interests at heart.
Ignore. He should be jumping through some pretty big hoops before contact with his son. After only four years away from XP a family solicitor advised me that he would have to take it through a contact centre if he got in touch.