Talk

Advanced search

Over night stays

(9 Posts)
Lifewithliv18 Wed 29-Nov-17 17:41:37

DD is 14 weeks and for a while now her father and his parents (who he still lives with) have been pressuring me to stay over night. DD is breastfed and won’t take a bottle so obviously I would have to stay with her, but it just seems a really awkward situation. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping at my exes parents house and it’s not like he will get to spend time with DD anyway as she’ll be asleep? Also have just started finally getting her into bedtime routine which has been working great so I don’t want anything to mess her up now. They are getting really impatient with me always making excuses and telling me by rights I have to let her have over night stays. Is this true? His mum text me the other day saying that she has set up a cot in the spare room so now we have no excuse not to stay and she’s been really pushy. I really am not ready to let her stay over without me as she wakes for feeds in the night but I don’t want to stay there either and would rather her stay on her own once she is night weaned and also when I feel she is ready to cope with it. Do I have the right to refuse until then? Sorry for the massive essay haha!

Whoknows11 Wed 29-Nov-17 19:26:37

Yes you do and don’t let them bully you into anything you’re not comfortable with. A court would agree if breastfed then no overnights until breastfeeding has ceased, so potentially for the 1st year or however you intend to breast feed for. Hope that gives you some reassurance.
It’s not about them and what they want but your baby’s basic needs to live ie breast milk

Poshindevon Wed 29-Nov-17 19:28:36

You do not have let your child have overnight stays she is too young
No one has automatic right to contact. His parents certainly do not have contact rights.
The Childrens Act 1989 Section 1
Welfare of the Child states that the welfare of any child us paramount
You need to do what is best for your child. As you are breast feeding and in a routine this supports your argument for your daughter to stay with you at your home.
Its great the father of your child wants to be involved but he can build up a bond with regular visits. There is plenty of time for over night stays in the future.

Lifewithliv18 Wed 29-Nov-17 19:59:02

Thank you guys, has made me feel much better knowing that I can turn around and tell them I’m not actually obliged! Wish I could breastfeed till she’s a teenager and keep her all to myself! Half joking ;)

Proudtrout Wed 29-Nov-17 21:06:53

Just to agree with others- they’re bullying you and don’t stand for it. Your childs needs come first, not their ‘wants’. There’s no automatic right for an overnight stay if you’re exclusively breastfeeding.
Sorry you’re having to deal with that on top of getting to grips with motherhood! Congratulations, enjoy your beautiful little girl x

iuli28iulie Wed 29-Nov-17 23:39:27

Hi there!
My ex partner doesn’t wanted to change his address as he is still on the tenancy agreement and don’t want to lose the deposit, but he doesn’t live with me and his daughter for 2 months.
What can I do?
Can I claim housing benefit as long he is still on the contract?
I can manage anymore with the rent and I have to do something!

Lifewithliv18 Thu 30-Nov-17 10:41:06

Thank you Proudtrut, makes me feel a whole lot better smile x

Starlight2345 Thu 30-Nov-17 12:13:31

I would message grandparent tell her contact will be arranged with her Ds . Contact ex tell him overnight contact will not happen while Dc cannot go through the night not been breast fed and repeat as often as required

Proudtrout Sat 02-Dec-17 07:34:37

Good advice from starlight. These people aren’t your family and you don’t have to negotiate with them. While it’ll pay in the long run not to antagonise them you also need to make it clear that you’re the boss here and won’t be manipulated! So polite but firm and don’t engage with any negotiation. Only you know what’s best for your baby.

I should add I was in a very similar position when my son turned 6 months- an immediate assumption they could just whisk him away! Needless to say they didn’t! It’s great dad and family want to be involved but they need to be respectful of the situation and your childs needs. X

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now