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Mother problems

(2 Posts)
Tiggertop Tue 21-Nov-17 20:28:19

I'm looking for some advice, my DD has just turned 1 and it's just she and I. Her dad and his family don't have any involvement with her at all and my family isn't large so we're a pretty insular unit.

My mum and I have never really got on and before I fell pregnant she maybe came to see me twice a year and then it was generally only for a couple of hours.

From the minute I fell pregnant she became overbearing. She passes comment on everything I do and continually makes comments about how much my daughter is like her and says things like 'we could pay for her to go to private school' like she has some say about the choices I will be making for DD. Worse still, she seems to think that she has an open invitation to come to my house every weekend to stay.

Given my daughter is in nursery full time I'm feeling increasingly resentful of the time she's taking from me. I spend every weekend feeling incredibly stressed and unhappy dealing with my mother's visits. This weekend I have other plans which she seemed a little shocked by when I said that she couldn't come over (because obviously I should keep every weekend open for her)- then she laid on a guilt trip about how much she misses DD.

I've tried raising this with her before but she's ignored me entirely to get her own way. She's childish and selfish at the best of times but stamping your feet to get your own way really does apply in this case.. Has anyone else had this happen and, if so, advice would be gratefully received.

Kingsclerelass Wed 22-Nov-17 13:49:37

My ex-MIL did that. She knew best on EVERYTHING & tried to move my DS to her house during the week.

Maybe your mum thinks she's helping, since your DD's dad isn't sharing the load. Is your DD her only grandchild? Maybe if she was at home with her children, it hasn't occurred to her that you need some mum/daughter time.

Perhaps you could say you spend Saturdays doing mum&daughter stuff but that she is welcome to do a specific thing - maybe every other Sunday or whatever. It's nice that she wants to be involved but it needs to be how you want.

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