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(6 Posts)
Louw12345 Fri 10-Nov-17 10:49:36

Asked something similar before.
My kids dad has asked for 26th Dec till 1st Jan this year. Iv asked that the child can come home for 1 day to see there step siblings.
He said he will bring them home for afew days.
Next year he doesn't want to being them home for 1 day as he will have a new child.
Am I wrong to ask for 1 day when I won't see them for a week?

Kingsclerelass Sat 11-Nov-17 07:07:00

It is difficult, I have the same. I ask my Ds what he would like - he's 9 - and go with that. But I insist he is back home by New Year's Eve. My ex drinks a lot and is never fit to drive on 1st.
If you get half the holidays each, I suppose that's fair.

Starlight2345 Sat 11-Nov-17 09:03:25

How old are the children ? I think unless they are tiny then for him a week uninterrupted seems reasonable .

Louw12345 Sat 11-Nov-17 10:29:28

I have 2 teenagers and three that are 6 and 8. Older don't want to stay that long and younger ones I don't give a choice to at the minute because last time I did only one wanted to go (any access)

His weekend is the weekend before Christmas but he doesn't want them then he wants from boxing day onwards.

I think it is important that they see their step siblings over christmas for 1 day atleast but I know his argument will be that they are not as important as his new child.

Last year he only wanted them for 3 days.

theduchessstill Sun 12-Nov-17 09:38:45

I don't know - do you have a contact order (can't remember what they're called?) because the way you've written it makes it seem he just states what he wants and that's what happens, which doesn't seem fair.

I don't see what his having a new baby has to do with it really. If it's about disruption he could pick up/drop off a day earlier so get just under a week.

Also what do the dc think and what kind of time do they have with him? In my case I would be fighting that as it would mean being away from their main home and all their presents for most of the school holidays after Christmas, sat on screens, and I know they wouldn't want that (well, ds2 might enjoy the extra screen time but would miss home too and ds1 never wants more than a couple of days at a time at Dad's). However, your situation may be different.

Louw12345 Sun 12-Nov-17 12:16:25

No we have no contact order, he has the child for tea on friday an hour then other week all weekend. But he works saturday till 2 so really only has sunday with them. They always tell me daddy is moody and his partner does everything for them. Which makes me sad. Iv asked him to have them saturday after work for afew hours instead but he's asked for a Friday over night but still he doesn't get to spend time with them if working
My older 2 don't want to go for so long but the littleones will probs be ok my youngest will be really clingy when back home.

No it isn't coz of a dristruption it is coz he wants them to spend time with his child.

That's what I would like just a day so they can see their step siblings open their presents and have a nice time together. Blending families is hard iv come to realise but it doesn't really have to be does it?

Anyway my partner has said he can have his kids Christmas day which is a huge shock but a lovely one at that. So I won't have to have the kids home to spend time with us all together. It really has made me emotional that his ex had said that coz not many dad's get Christmas eve and Christmas day and boxing day. And we have been trying to work out how we get to spend 1 day together as a family

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