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Positive lone parenting experiences needed please!

(6 Posts)
Deadsouls Wed 25-Oct-17 12:35:31

Hello,
I wonder if there are any lone parents out there who could share their positive experiences of single parenting with me?
Since splitting with ex-DH a few years ago I've struggled emotionally (too long and boring to go into), and depression/negative feeling about being a single parent. From worries about finances to the feeling of 'this is just too hard' etc. To missing the 'family' feeling of being with a partner, to missing the ex-DH etc. Feeling it would all be easier with someone else around.

I often think though that there are thousands upon thousands of lone parents who make it work, who manage to work, to enjoy their kids, and accepting of their family unit. I'd really appreciate to hear your positive experiences of being a single parent, as inspiration for myself, and to believe that I too can do it and moreover be contented. All too often I think the negativity makes it feel hard when in reality it doesn't have to be that way!
Thank you for taking the time.

SummerKelly Wed 25-Oct-17 12:40:23

I’ve been a lone parent for 12 years now and my DD is 14. It can be hard, expensive and lonely, but the positive things for me are being able to parent the way I think is best for my DD without having to accommodate anyone else, and that I have an incredibly strong relationship with her that I don’t think we’d have in the same way if her dad was here. I think she’s much more open with me. For her, I’ve sometimes felt bad about leaving her to fend for herself from an early age, e.g. getting herself off to school when I’ve had to work, but she’s incredibly capable and independent compared to many of her other friends.

Deadsouls Wed 25-Oct-17 18:38:49

Thank you summerkelly for sharing your experience. I'm sure you're a great parent and you sound very strong!

HalfPintPixie Wed 25-Oct-17 20:34:22

My son is 5, I left his financially and emotionally abusive father when ds was about 11 months old. 
It's been hard, there's no point saying otherwise, and my own mental health issues haven't helped, but it has definitely been more good than bad. I miss all of the things you mentioned, but I realise now that I'm missing something I never had. We were never going to be a happy family, at least this way my son will grow up seeing me strong and happy and proud of what I can do, rather than constantly beaten down by his father. 

I love being a single parent, actually. I like having my own bed, that everything in the house is mine, and (as already mentioned) that I can raise my son the way I think is best without having to argue with anyone!
I love how close I am to my son. He's an absolute delight to spend time with, and in a way that's incredibly validating. He's turning into a really great little human being, so I can't be doing anything too badly! I also love how he describes basically anything, from building sheds or fixing plumbing to baking cakes and doing laundry, as 'mummy work'. There are very few things he thinks I can't do. 

Some days I feel like I just can't do it anymore, but it helps to have family and/or friends who can support you. I'd be lost without my family to help me. Most of the time though, seeing how happy my son is as he grows up is enough to make each day worth it. 

feelingdizzy Wed 25-Oct-17 20:39:27

I have been a lone parent for 13 years,my kids are 14 and 15.
We are a great little family and we are a full family,not a family with some thing missing.I retrained have a rewarding career,own my own house. The kids are kind ,loving and wonderful,do well at school.It can be hard but it has been a great adventure and I am really proud of the three of us.

norbert23 Wed 25-Oct-17 20:48:25

This is from a different angle but as a child of a lone parent I look back now as an adult and am amazed and in awe of how my dad looked after us so well on his own. He’s the best and I’m sure your own children feel exactly the same way about you too. You’re doing an amazing job xxx

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