Anyone else find this single parent malarkey overwhelming sometimes?

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Ds' dad lives in another country and barely keeps in contact.
I've been on my own with ds since I fell pregnant and have always done things on my own. For the most part, I don't mind.
Ds and I are extremly close but every now and then I find the responsibility of it all too much.
My friend's Ds died just over a week ago and I'm finding everything so hard. I'm worried about my friend. I'm worried about Ds. I'm worried about myself. And sometimes I just wish there was another adult to share this all with.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've felt like this since I had Ds (15yrs) but when it happens, it hits me with full force.
I have a supportive family and close friends but it just feels like everyone is dealing with their own shit at the moment.

[hattyhighlighter]

Yes I do. So sorry about your friends ds. That must be heartbreaking. I feel completely the same about wanting to have an adult to share things with, like you it happens rarely, but when you go down it feels so so tough. Just hang in there and keep going, you're doing a great job. Be kind to yourself. You are not alone.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Thank you, Hatty.
It is utterly, utterly, devastating and I feel so guilty even considering my feelings when my friend is going through this.
I also feel that while I'm focussing on my friend, my Ds isn't receiving my full support. I contacted ds' dad with the foolish notion that he could help the situation. He couldn't even pick up the bloody phone when he said he would.
It's not just the difficult times I'd like him to share. There are moments when my heart is going to burst with pride and I would so dearly love to share that with him because I figure he's the only person that would feel the same way about Ds as I do.

[AtSea1979]

Yes. I have my two DC and no input what so ever from XH. I don't really have any friends either as everyone seems busy with their husbands etc. My parents are getting older and I feel guilty asking for help off them.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Atsea - how old are your dc? I found it easier to have friendships of my own once Ds got a bit older and I could leave him for a couple of hours to go and do my own thing.
I rarely ask for help (it's a weakness in me and probably the reason I crash and burn occasionally).
I'm sure your parents are happy to help and spend time with their dgc.