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Help needed please??

(10 Posts)
zipahdedodah Wed 18-Oct-17 08:28:07

Have just found out the man I was married to at the time of my sons birth is not the bio dad. He is on the birth certificate.

We are now divorced.

He wants to carry on seeing my son like nothing has changed, but he doesnt want to support him financially anymore.

Everything I've read said if he has parental responsibility he has to pay maintenance but if he's not bio dad he doesnt have to, but he still keeps his parental rights?

Apparently he may keep parental rights even if his name comes off the birth certificate?

So basically he gets all the rights but none of the responsibilities? How can this be possible?

HotelEuphoria Wed 18-Oct-17 08:35:28

What does your son want/know?

zipahdedodah Wed 18-Oct-17 08:48:58

I haven't told him anything yet, I don't know whether he is old enough to understand and I don't know which way would be in his best interests.

Notreallyarsed Wed 18-Oct-17 08:49:37

I think you need some legal advice, it could get messy otherwise.

zipahdedodah Wed 18-Oct-17 09:02:21

I'm looking into legal advice but its not exactly cheap and I was hoping to find some general answers on here?

Notreallyarsed Wed 18-Oct-17 09:08:59

Did he know there was a chance the child wasn’t his when he registered?

zipahdedodah Wed 18-Oct-17 09:10:12

Yes, we had been split up for a year and had not long been back together when I found out I was pregnant.

Notreallyarsed Wed 18-Oct-17 09:11:42

Can you contact the CAB? They might be able to offer practical advice. Maintenance and parental rights and responsibilities aren’t linked in court (XH has made the most of this).
Can you contact the bio Dad for maintenance?

zipahdedodah Wed 18-Oct-17 09:16:58

I've had no contact with him for over 9 years, he knew there was a chance my son might be his too, but we all agreed that raising my son with my husband and the other guy walking away was the best option. Is it right, after all this time, to ask for maintenance?

Notreallyarsed Wed 18-Oct-17 09:44:56

Probably not tbh, but then none of it is “right” iyswim? I don’t mean that nastily, just a statement of fact. I think your son needs to know what the truth is, and go from there.

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