Wish I could parent alone!

[BubblesPip]

Just that really.

My dc has a useless waste of space abusive arsehole for a father, who doesn't actually give a shit!! Yet he hangs around and causes no end of difficulties for me, spouting his 'rights' constantly. I think me and my dc would be so much happier with him off the scene, yet there's nothing I can do.

Quite frankly, it's crap...complete and utter crap!!

Anyone else in a similar situation fancy ranting away with me?!

[Misspollyhadadollie]

I know the feeling (although ex doesn't see kids through his choice) he pops up in my life occasionally and I wish he would go for good! Sometimes no dad is better than a bad one.

[Starlight2345]

I felt the same..however I am lucky my ex dropped out my DS's life when he was 3..Yes easier for my DS..He has had some issues over why his dad doesn't see him however I truely beleive he is better off than the chaos his dad created and like you said didn't actually care about my ds.

[IndependentMum]

Why can't you consider leaving him? your situation sounds like a nightmare

[BubblesPip]

indepent I have left him, he’s my ex and continues to cause me no end of grief. There’ll never be any escaping it.

starlight Your poor dc, although I imagine it is a relief all round.

[LonginesPrime]

Could you consider killing him then?

[LonginesPrime]

That was a joke, sorry!

Seriously though - I sympathise. My DCs’ DF is pain too and always feels the need to throw his weight around just to assert his rights (think calling up to move doctors appts around; meddling with school, etc).

It sucks. But at least we don’t have to live with them!

[Notreallyarsed]

I hear you OP, I told XH nearly 10 years ago to either be a dad or fuck off. Sadly he’s done neither and if he whinges about rights I just remind him it’s actually parental rights AND RESPONSIBILITIES and since he doesn’t fulfil one it’s a pisstake that he demands the other!

[BubblesPip]

longinesprime oh that did make me laugh!! If only it were that easy eh?!

That’s one thing that I always say to him, ‘ok you want equal rights, have equal responsibilities (cost, planning childcare, general care) of course that soon shuts him up

It’s such a frustrating situation as we all know they genuinely couldn’t care less about their dc

[Notreallyarsed]

He asked me the other week if I hated him. I told him I don’t anything him, I’ve wasted enough of my life letting him affect me. Thankfully DS1 just takes it in his stride and doesn’t get upset at how shit his dad is. He has DP (been in his life 6 years, since he was 4) and my dad. His dad is just somebody who he stays with once a fortnight, and since XH met his new wife DS1 is actually taken proper care of because she’s brilliant. Unfortunately (for DS1 not for XH) she’s also about to leave him because she’s fighting breast cancer and the only support network she has is me! He’s a real piece of work.

[Namechanger2015]

Argh, I can sympathise totally, my abusive ex is the same. He is picking up the kids for half term today, and will have them till Saturday. Only sees them in the holidays as its too far (1.5h) for him to come during term time apparently (!!).

He does zero parenting in the term - calls them once a week if that. And yet he takes them back to his house for a week and thinks he is dad of the year. They are young and so he milks them for information about what they/I have been doing,

He doesn't pay child maintenance and screwed me over completely with the divorce, but thinks the sun shines out of his bum. The kids are getting wise to him slowly but surely, but yes, I really really wish he would just disappear and let us get on with it now.

It's just a pathetic power trip isn't it.