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Becoming a mother of two?

(3 Posts)
dazedandconfuse Tue 10-Oct-17 10:22:52

I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship and am now 13 weeks pregnant with a man who left me around 6 weeks ago and we've been on/ off since then. But I recently found out he's been sleeping around so I'm completely done with him. The total arsehole. (incredibly heartbroken as I thought we were best friends and I was completely in love with him but life is a bitch) He wants absolutely nothing to do with his unborn child. I already love this baby and would like to keep it. I was 17 when I had my first child and raised him alone for the first 18 months until I met my new partner (my now ex who's turned into a dickhead) I coped well and I'm now 20, at university studying to become an English teacher and I have a part time job. My son and I currently live with my mum simply because she's got a lovely big house and loves having us here! We love being here but I'm planning on moving out in the next couple of months because A wonderful house nearby has come up for rent and I think it's time we moved into our own space. So that's my situation. If I was to go ahead and have this child would I be a complete idiot? Like am I completely deluded to think I could actually raise TWO kids alone and still be successful and them both feel happy and have the best life? I'd be able to carry on with uni and I'd take maternity leave from my job. I understand It would be a struggle and money would be very tight. I'm just looking for people's most raw opinions here and want to know personally what they would do. Am I a deluded idiot? Because I'm totally, totally effing lost.

Proudtrout Tue 10-Oct-17 20:19:51

I'm so sorry you've been treated so badly by your ex, and that you're nursing a broken heart alongside being pregnant- I was in a similar situation and it's hard to say the least.
I think you've already made up your mind from what I've read. If you already love this baby then don't break your heart even more! you sound like you have a career path set and could offer a stable home even if money is tight and let's face it, having babies is a bonkers thing for anyone in any position to be doing, tiz all madness. Beautiful, heart exploding madness.
Personally I'd have a second child in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose but I'm considerably older than you and have a biological clock to contend with!
I've heard people saying they regret not having another child, never that they regret having more.
You sound like you have some solid support from your mum, do you have other friends and family around?
I don't think it'd be easy but don't let the heartbreak make you feel it's impossible. You won't always feel this hurt, betrayed and broken. You will come through this either as an amazing mother to one child or an amazing mother to two children, them's your options! Good luck xx

PepsiPolarBear Tue 10-Oct-17 21:41:13

I had my second child when I was on my own, her dad was horrible. My older child was 3.5yrs.

I won't lie it has been very hard and there are times I hate the lifestyle I live, working two jobs and juggling school and nursery and feeling exhausted.

But if you have your mum for help and can take maternity leave then go for It! You can return to work when you're ready and you will be a great mum to your two children. Try to enjoy some of the pregnancy and baby time, just because the dad isn't around you can still make it really special!

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