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Any one not get any maintenance at all?

(14 Posts)
Dancingfairy Sat 07-Oct-17 14:07:10

Just wondering if anyone else out there doesn't recieve any maintenance at all? Ex gets cash in hand so doesn't pay any and I won't be reporting him before any one suggests (don't need the headache) just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how you get by? Really struggling to make ends meet and friends don't understand as they all receive maintenance.

furryelephant Sat 07-Oct-17 14:13:58

Yep. Nothing at all and he doesn't see DD either. I had to move back in with my parents who luckily were very welcoming as I was getting no income (mat leave) and until I go back to work are just ok with me contributing what I can, so it's just things like clothes and toys that I have to spend at the moment. When I move out I have no idea how I'll afford to live sad

Dancingfairy Sat 07-Oct-17 15:20:01

It's so hard isn't it, I have no money to top up my electric but I am lucky the my energy company doesn't cut off supply at the weekends but sick of just scraping by each week!

furryelephant Sat 07-Oct-17 15:50:14

Oh it's so difficult sadI'm sure it's something you already do but I've started being ruthless with what clothes I keep etc, selling lots on Facebook and eBay has made me a reasonable about in the last few months. A lot more than I thought possible! Even a couple of pounds helps.

hotmessmom82 Sun 08-Oct-17 11:37:12

Yep my sons father suddenly decided to stop paying and seeing them July and life is a bit a nightmare financially as well as dealing with how upset they get over it all.

noorqt Sun 08-Oct-17 15:34:23

I haven't received a penny since ex left me and to Dd nearly 4years ago. It's so hard and so fustrating as kids and I have to go without so much. child Maintaince are a jokeangry

Dancingfairy Sun 08-Oct-17 18:35:40

They certainly are. When I called they told me not to even bother. Sorry to hear the rest of you are going through it as well.

shadowrun Sun 08-Oct-17 18:43:23

I've never received any maintenance and ex doesn't see my dd either. She's a teen now so I'm used to it (we split before she was born so it's always been this way). It's not easy but I'm very frugal and organised, you just have to be! Make sure you claim everything you're entitled to., e.g. there's a £140 grant you can get to help with your electricity bill if you're on benefits but you have to apply as it's not awarded automatically

alphabetti Sun 08-Oct-17 20:52:58

My ex refuses to pay anything towards our 11 and 13yr old and hasn’t seen them for 4yrs. I’ve found the child maintenance service to be useless. I found out he was working so notified them to be told send evidence so I managed to get lucky and found him to be named in an online company magazine. He then argued he had just started working there and was about to update them. They allowed him to pay directly into my account despite him changing payment dates, his gf sending awful emails saying I was greedy and they were taking legal action so that the children would be removed and sent to them.

He then stopped paying Dec 16 and I kept being told they had to give him time to pay. It took until July 2017 for them to accept he was not making payments and they accepted collect and pay to be the next step but then I was told Sept 2017 he had contacted them and told them he was unemployed, single and in receipt of benefits so they could only take a few £ directly from benefits. I called again Friday to be told hadn’t been set up yet....

I’m not being greedy myself I just feel so bad that my children’s father refuses to want to see them or pay towards them meaning that they feel abandoned and we all have to struggle financially. It seems to me all other single parents receive maintenance too but at same time I’m annoyed to think there are other children out there being ignored bu their parents too.

I have a lovely boyfriend who treats the kids even tho he has his own child and only working part time due to also studying at the moment but it’s very difficult to not receive anything towards your children in way of maintenance.

Nonibaloni Sun 08-Oct-17 20:59:44

I've never had a penny from DS dad, it's shit that they can walk away and leave you holding the baby.
Remember it's a judgment on him not you. You are struggling now but you are raising a child and will enjoy the delight that will bring, he has opted of that. Even if he has contact the time will come when your child will understand you did it all alone.
On a practical note are you a member of your local freecycle type group? I got a winter coat for my ds 2nd winter, I could hardly believe it. There's no shame in putting out a wanted note. Chin up. Week to week is shit but you're doing it and you should be dam proud.

PumpkinHead1980 Mon 09-Oct-17 17:45:46

I haven't received a penny since May and have had to chase the Child Maintenance people the whole time which is stressful and time consuming.

Eventually i will receive the princely sum of £6 per week although as i should've been getting that for the last few months i won't hold my breath

It's more about the principal than anything - a parent should be financially contributing to their child's life as much as they possibly can

I've had to say no to the school trip this year but as it's over £300 i think most people would struggle with that!

slightlycross Mon 09-Oct-17 21:18:39

I don't get anything either! My ex is self employed so I don't think there's much hopevwith the cms or whatever they're called.. thank goodness I have a decent job to support my 2 dd's ..
it's so frustrating isn't it especially when the ex doesn't see kids or barely and you feel you need to do everything - the practical and financial!

ProseccoOnAGecko Thu 12-Oct-17 06:53:58

Ex and I split in Mayband he hasn't paid anything at all. He's self employed too so I'm debating CMS but don't know if it's worth the effort. He's also left me in loads of debt but luckily I've got a really good job so I'm just looking ahead to 5 years time when the debts should be paid off and we can start living a little less frugally. DC are only little (1&4) so hopefully I'll manage to get myself sorted before they start demanding the latest video games and expensive trainers (you know, the ones like daddy has 😡)

rightsofwomen Thu 12-Oct-17 07:09:58

We agreed not to ask for maintenance from either party.
I am the main bread winner, so it would be me paying him.
Since I pay for pretty much everything both DSs need I think it works out.
Ex seems to have plenty of money for regular holidays.

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