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Finally done it. Signed tenancy today to leave OH and become a lone parent

(16 Posts)
NoNamesLeft86 Tue 03-Oct-17 21:49:05

Its all just hit me and im in a weird place where im excited, scared, guilty, sad, relieved and worried all at once?!
No idea how im going to move myself and 4 children with special needs by myself but the house will be ours in 2 weeks.

I cant quite believe it. Ive wanted out for a couple of years now but felt trapped.


OP’s posts: |
AgSiopadoireachtAris Tue 03-Oct-17 21:54:32

Blimey! Well done on ending a relationship that's not right. I hope you can get yr x to take some responsibility for kids brew

gamerchick Tue 03-Oct-17 21:56:12

Bravo man grin onward flowers

Is there nobody who can help you move. A couple of pals maybe?

DancingLedge Tue 03-Oct-17 21:58:59

Good on you!
That feeling, when you shut the door to Your house, and shut the door on the strife, and start the next chapter, nothing beats it!
Best of luck.

petalsinthegarden Wed 04-Oct-17 03:58:35

Well done!

Onwards and upwards. Best of luck x

Foniks Wed 04-Oct-17 05:16:24

Fantastic!! Well done you. It's so much easier said than done, and you've done it. Brilliant.
gin here's to the next chapter. Good luck!

NoNamesLeft86 Wed 04-Oct-17 13:54:14

Somehow posted this thread twice by accident confused

Thanks all. Now im just panicking that benefits wont come through in time. Had never realised how long it all takes! 12 weeks for child benefit?!

Needed a £5k deposit which ive borrowed from my Mum, who is the only person who knows im going. And need another £2k before I move in 2 weeks time shock

Fingers crossed it all works out. We have a lovely landlord/landlady who have been brilliant. They have let me keep any furniture that previous tenants had left (they were going to dump it all anyway) so ive got some stuff to get me started and no commitment to keep any of it once I can get my own stuff.

Pretty much just need to buy beds, mattresses, Tv(s) and some cooking/eating equipment. Then im ready to move in!

OP’s posts: |
NoNamesLeft86 Fri 06-Oct-17 18:30:19

Its now dawning on me just how much work it is for me to move house by myself with 4 kids. With half term right in the way confused

OP’s posts: |
DancingLedge Fri 06-Oct-17 20:04:40

It's a lot of work, but you'll find the strength.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, just draw it in- this is what I have to do in the next hour. I'll tackle the next bit when I get to it.
Open to and accept help.
You'll get there.flowerswine

MadameJosephine Fri 06-Oct-17 20:06:07

Good for you! Well done and best of luck flowers

Starlight2345 Sat 07-Oct-17 14:02:13

good luck, freecycle, fb selling sites can be your friends at this time..Good luck with the move.. Dependent upon how old children are they can help in some ways..I moved with my DS at 15 months who had severe seperation anxiety and would cry if he couldn't physically see me.. So I had to sit him on front garden( in high chair) while I got stuff from car to the hall then move him inside so I could get stuff in..

I t was really hard work but best thing I have ever done.

NoNamesLeft86 Sat 07-Oct-17 14:24:06

The children are 3, 4 , 8 and 9 but younger 3 are Autistic so below their ages mentally. The eldest is the only one who would be able to help with things really - usually she ends up looking after the younger ones if I need her to which is a huge help (I mean in the same house as me, not that I leave her babysitting while I go out!!)

Freecycle is great, I have today collected a dehumidifier which will be useful as it's a very old house with a few damp issues (Landlord has sorted this but I would rather be careful to avoid it reoccurring).
I'm tempted to post a wanted for some bunk beds etc but I am worried as my Mum is the only one who knows I am going! Other than setting up a new email etc in a fake name I am unsure how to avoid everybody being able to see it?

OP’s posts: |
Starlight2345 Sat 07-Oct-17 18:34:57

I have 2 facebook accounts.. Always useful I find for many reasons.

SunshineHQ Sun 08-Oct-17 19:57:01

I did similarly back in Nov 2014.

Do you have any friends with a large car - I managed to get some great bargains furniture-wise on eBay. Single bed, bunk beds, etc. Table & chairs. Wardrobe and desk. But you need to be able to collect it.

Does your other half know you are leaving? Is he likely to be angry or unpredictable? With Woman’s Aid advice, I left while DH was away on a trip. He would have blocked us going otherwise.

SunshineHQ Sun 08-Oct-17 19:58:05

I only have 2 kids, but one was autistic (age 8).

Paperdolly Sun 08-Oct-17 22:49:23

Seconding the Women's Aid help if OH likely to be angry, violent even. Make sure your passports, birth certificates and any other personal stuff is passed to someone else to look after just before you move. These make wonderful ' I'll get you back!' tools for the partner being left.

Hope it's by mutual consent though. X

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