No contact with DD. Help!

[MavisDavis99]

Will keep this brief as my previous posts have covered in more detail.

My 14 year old daughter (Asperger's, chronic fatigue and eating disorder) moved in with her dad a year and a half ago. This august she said she wanted to move back with me.

Ex agreed and set a date for this weekend. However, he has lied to her about me, shaking her trust in me and wrecking our relationship. I'm 100% sure this was deliberate. He knew he couldn't legally stop her moving so did his best to turn her against me so she would refuse to come.

I have reported him to social services as I do have fears for her welfare (as do health professionals working with her). SS are investigating but initially didn't want to as they viewed it as tit for tat, as he has made allegations about me in the past. He was and still is abusive.

SS contacted him yesterday.

Today my daughter has blocked me on social media (the only way she likes to communicate) and I emailed him to ask him to confirm he is still bringing her this weekend but he is not responding.

By deleting me, she has also deleted our messages, which were my evidence that he is telling her I'm lying to her (I'm not).

I don't know what to do. They have both totally cut me off. I am on income support so have no money for solicitor or court case. Also, if I blow my overdraft on a court case, I understand they will listen to her wishes as she's 14, which seem to be that she wants no contact with me (because he's manipulating her), so it would be a waste of my time and money.

She is desperately ill, on the verge of being hospitalised. I am so worried about her and so angry at what he's done, but feel totally helpless

What can I do? I'm devastated.

[73Marie]

Oh im so sorry to hear this. I don't really know what to say other than stay strong and if ss are involved...get their support to address your daughters immediate health needs. I hope you find a way through this soon. No matter what happend the truth always comes out in the end x

[MavisDavis99]

Thank you 73Marie
I hope she will see the truth one day, but he is so good at manipulating her and has no problem telling total lies to both her and social services. I think I am just going to have to accept that there's not much I can do and I will have to just wait for her to decide if and when she wants contact with me again.x

[Squirmy65ghyg]

Use your overdraft.

See if you can get legal aid.

She's your child and is in an abusive situation. She needs you.

[MavisDavis99]

Thanks. That was my first thought, as her mum I want to do everything I can to protect her from him. He's a total psychopath. He doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets a "win", in fact the more pain he can cause is a bonus to him. He enjoys it.

When he knew I wanted to leave him, he told me if I ever did that he would have her taken away from me. He has not left us alone or stopped making allegations for 9 years since I left. He didn't succeed that way, but has manipulated her into making that decision herself through his lies. She doesn't believe a word I say to her because he tells her I'm lying.

Including our marriage this is now 15 years of abuse targetted at me. I am so tired of having to defend myself and living in fear of him, even at a distance. The best part of my life and her childhood have been wrecked by him and it just feels like he's won. I can't save her from him, she's chosen to be with him and cut me out of her life. I don't believe that's something a court can fix.

I have explained the situation to social services (again and again), so we'll see what happens. They were going to prosecute him last year but then he made a formal complaint and the social worker was removed from the case. I just don't know how he does it and just gets away with it. Maybe because hard evidence is so difficult to produce in emotionally abusive cases.

I'm seriously beginning to think I have no choice but to totally let her go and hope one day in the future she wants to know me again.

It's just devastating.