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Separated parents and children's friends parties

(9 Posts)
dr123 Fri 22-Sep-17 23:06:24

How do other separated parents cope with their children missing friends parties when they go to stay with their Fathers. My son is 5 and has just started staying with his father miles away, once a fortnight as agreed by a family court. His father has a rota so cannot easily swap weekends. My son is understandably upset not to get to his friend's parties. Opinions please

iamapixiebutnotaniceone Fri 22-Sep-17 23:07:11

If possible via dad should take him IMO

iamapixiebutnotaniceone Fri 22-Sep-17 23:07:27


egginacup Fri 22-Sep-17 23:10:45

Wherever possible my ex will take them if it's a good friend, even if sometimes they have ended up staying down the road from me in a hotel. Does his dad pick him up? Could he come later or come just for the day?

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Fri 22-Sep-17 23:12:57

Could you explain to the parent and ask could dc still send a present and receive a party bag?
Unfortunately a judge would deem time spent with the other dp more important than a party. .
Been there. . .

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 23-Sep-17 08:05:11

"Unfortunately?!" The judge is right.

OP, I think you need some perspective. It's once a fortnight that he is seeing his dad. I understand why it's upsetting to your DS but how many parties has he actually missed or is likely to miss?

What if your DS had to miss a party because of something you were doing? If you had an appointment, if you didn't have a car that day, if you were visiting relatives somewhere, if your DS had a planned activity already? Presumably you'd just explain to your DS the situation and say sorry, and then life would carry on?

Your son's relationship with his father is more important than missing a party once in a while.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Sat 23-Sep-17 08:53:37

The' unfortunately' was aimed to the op not my personal feeling - I have been on the end of my exh arranging every day activities /parties for my dc to avoid fulfilling the court order of my time with them. . A judge told him to stop making plans for the dc on my time and they had to be available as per the court order. Like you said, parties are just that -

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 23-Sep-17 09:38:38

Apologies for the misunderstanding smile

Starlight2345 Sat 23-Sep-17 19:13:38

At 5 they get an awful lot of party invites..

I would save my negotiation for best friends party.

I think you have to sell it to DC.

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