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Help regarding child maintenance...

(7 Posts)
tink1983 Thu 21-Sep-17 18:17:25

Over the summer my ex went from having our two boys two night's a week... to Saturday nights two out of three weeks.

This was as he was unreliable and I made the choice that as my older boy was starting school it could only be weekends.
So two out of three Saturdays is all he can do.

Child maintenance says he owes me more money now. But he's refusing. Says I'm stopping him having them more so he won't pay more.

Iv stopped school night stayovers as he doesn't feed them a decent dinner, doesn't adhere to bed time and doesn't bath them!!

Anyone experience this? If he says this to child maintenance will my money stay the same ?
Thanks for any advice xx

OP’s posts: |
pameladoove Thu 21-Sep-17 18:33:20

CMS will calculate a statutory amount based on the nights he has them and you presumably have evidence to show how many nights, if needs be.

If he wants to see them more often, this is a separate issue and he needs to either:

- negotiate with you directly
- go to mediation
- negotiate via his solicitor
- take you to court

But he can't simply override the statutory amount he owes.

tink1983 Thu 21-Sep-17 18:39:01

I guess I have evidence. I have texts that confirm when he has picked up and arranging him to drop back the next day. And the whole chat where it all came about when one weekend he just didn't turn up.

Thanks for your reply 😊

OP’s posts: |
pameladoove Thu 21-Sep-17 18:41:32

He may have a good case for getting more access, given that you had a prior arrangement like this and it was taken out of his hands.

But that isn't for CMS to decide.

tink1983 Thu 21-Sep-17 19:02:40

We did have a better arrangement..which lasted 6 months after we separated... which meant I arranged my shifts around his work.
He let me down and I had to let my work down which led to issues there.
My older boy has learning difficulties which is why i feel he needs more structured routine. And not spending random midweek nights there depending on his Rota.

He's not asked for more access whilst his money stayed the same. Now cms have been in touch all of a sudden he wants more. But since July he's been happy to go along with it, and put up no fight.

Now Iv changed jobs as my boys at school so I can and dont need him anymore. I'm finally self sufficient and don't need to rely in him as I can pay for care clubs and dont work weekends.

I just want what im due. Which isn't alot given what he earns.

I'd like him to see them more, but he needs to fit in with them and our routine and not the other way around.

Sorry If im agitated, feel like it always works around what he can do or can offer and I put up with it for such a long time.
Iv got me a better job and them in a great routine which includes my son's weekly therapy sessions and I won't let him stomp all over it 💔💔💔

OP’s posts: |
pameladoove Thu 21-Sep-17 19:35:14

I hear you. It's frustrating.

The fact he's put up no resistance to it all until asked for more money doesn't look good for him at all.

I doubt he'll pursue you for more access.

Holidayhooray Fri 22-Sep-17 18:03:22

You sound like you're doing a bloody brilliant job.

Don't let him cock it up over a few pounds. If he is asking for more time with him, he will likely get it given how little he formally has atm. So you may well get those extra few pounds but your new found settled arrangements for the boys goes pear shaped as a result.

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