Domestic violance

[user1499198602]

Does anyone know , my ex has gave me mental abuse since i was pregnant, my baby now 6 month old hes kicked of a number of times, in my home and public, hes held him a number of times, more intrested in me than the baby, now hes sayin he goin to court for access even tho ive never denied him access ive always met up, hes down as domestic violance. I have police reports of everything. Ive been told he wud need a anger managment course, does anyone kmow what supervised visits he wud get ? Im panicing and worried.

[Starlight2345]

I stopped contact with my EX..I used to supervise access but refused to put up with him been aggressive with me in front of DS...When he got a sols ( in the days of legal aid) My sols offered contact in a contact centre.. You could do this..He would then get to see his child not you .

I also found with my ex.. I stopped discussing anything with him. If he was abusive on the phone, just hung up and refused to accept any calls...Stopped encouraging contact...If he didn't attend then leave him too it..My opinion was if he wasn't interested the sooner he gave up on my DS the better.If he was and going to be a great dad then great...However he didn't want to be a dad and lasted till DS was 3 with contact.

If he isn't interested in child do you think he would bother with court or do you think it is a threat.

[user1499198602]

Its more control with him. He likes his own way, all hes goin on about is he wants parental resp. Cos he not on bc. Hes never once asked for pics or asked how he is. All control. Now he wants me to see him from nxt week while he goes to court to get on bc. I hate him all he causes me is stress i feel ill

[Starlight2345]

If you do believe he will go to court then he will get put on the BC.. Him not been interested sadly doesn't have any bearing.

If he is been abusive aggressive with you while in your childs care you are well within your rights to refuse..It may well be worth talking to a solicitor , many do a 30 minute appointment and you possibly could be entitled to free legal aid.

[user1499198602]

Thank u i have a solicitor, im speakin wit her tuesday .. fingers crossed im so fed up!

[kittensinmydinner1]

First of all he has to get parental responsibility. That is a court process. It will cost him £215. Then he will have to apply for a CAO. (Child arrangement order) another £215. Again his cost, not yours. You can refuse all contact until the court hearing. Once at the hearing you can tell the CAFCASS (child courts officers) what your concerns are and why you don't believe your ex will be a safe person to have care of your child unsupervised.
At the moment you don't have to do anything except refuse contact. He can do nothing until he has jumped through all the hoops stated above.

[user1499198602]

Aw thanks fpr ur reply just seen it. Hes now in touch about mediation wen i agreed he then kicked off but im standin by it and ive agreed to do it. Hes wanting me to giv him PR which i said i would do but hes wanting it asap. I feel he has something planned .. hes more concered about having PR than askin to c him or askin how he is. Hes only met him a hand full of times , held him once , baby doesnt know him at all, all because of his actions ( kicking off ) is it a bad thing him having parental right because i know the court will give him it so thats why im going ahead. He cant demand things can he ? Im so worried

[Starlight2345]

This is off the Gov website

1. What is parental responsibility?
   

All mothers and most fathers have legal rights and responsibilities as a parent - known as ‘parental responsibility’.

If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles are to:

provide a home for the child
protect and maintain the child
If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you updated about their well-being and progress.
You’re also responsible for:

disciplining the child
choosing and providing for the child’s education
agreeing to the child’s medical treatment
naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
looking after the child’s property
Parents have to ensure that their child is supported financially, whether they have parental responsibility or not

For reasonable parents it is fine..The problem with abusive parents as they use it as a means of control..

[Kiera666]

Hi I've bin thru court .domestic violence. U don't have to go thru with mediation if domestic violence involved.my ex took me court .he got no access at all .not even supervised.went thru drug tests.7 hearings .