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I really need help with this

(10 Posts)
Heartshapedbox12 Tue 05-Sep-17 08:37:08

Hello so basically me n my partner broke up recently he left me for an unknown reason but he kicked me out of my home I worked for this parents so lost my job and now I am back living with my mum I am 18 he is 19 he's been a nightmare since it's been over like he's a whole new person but he is still controlling me,he threatens me with our son and tries to scare me,he is a good dad don't get me wrong. Yet I have no idea what to do with the situation the council will not give me a home because all the benifits go into his account and because my name is on the tenancy here which my ex is refusing to take off but also won't let me move back into the sofa so I can spend all day everyday with my son,I do not know what to do with it and I'm loosing hope I just need some advice from people whom have been in this situation as I don't have people to help me

OP’s posts: |
juneau Tue 05-Sep-17 08:40:39

OP go and have a chat with someone at the Citizens Advice Bureau. You need help with housing, benefits and access to your DC. They should be able to advise you on the first two and at least point you in the right direction on the third (you may need a solicitor for that one).

GriefLeavesItsMark Tue 05-Sep-17 08:42:00

Well for a start contact the landlord to end your tenancy, then contact the job centre to end your joint claim, and put in a claim in your own name.

Theimpossiblegirl Tue 05-Sep-17 08:48:05

Are you saying that he has thrown you out and has kept your son with him? That does not make him a good dad.

I agree, get yourself down to Citizen's Advice and get your benefits sorted while you look for another job. Then you can work on getting somewhere to live.

Also, his parents may have acted illegally if they have fired you just for splitting up with their son.

Heartshapedbox12 Tue 05-Sep-17 09:12:54

Hello thanks so much for the advice I have ended the claim now for child tax and benefit,his parents made me go under self employed so they they could dismiss me if this happened,I see my son every day I have full access to the flat when his dad is working,I am going to think seriously about going to mediation to sort this as he becomes ver hostile if I try and sort anything to do with the aftermath of our breakup even though he did the dumping.

OP’s posts: |
Heartshapedbox12 Tue 05-Sep-17 09:14:30

@GriefLeavesItsMark I can't afford to take my name off the tenancy as I have no money as of yet

OP’s posts: |
Starlight2345 Tue 05-Sep-17 14:08:53

do you have room to have DS with you at parents.

I would agree go to the CAB. I would also consider ringing Womens aid. Legally he cannot kick you out of the house if you are on the tenancy.

You are also in danger of making him RP if he is staying at his every night and actually this means you are not entitled to TC and he can apply for family allowance too.

You need to take this very seriously.

Heartshapedbox12 Tue 05-Sep-17 14:47:12

@Starlight2345 is this true even if I am having to sleep at the flat 3 nights a week as for not being able to get home as he finished work to later or too early in the morning to get there? The problem with having my lil boy at my mums is that she has an autistic daughter herself and she becomes worse when ds is around also an overcrowding issue but me and his father have agreed to 50/50 parenting but at the moment I'm still looking after him 5-7 days a week witch I love cause his dad wants to spend his days off drinking or seeing family,all I needed was the paperwork from the tc to say I'm caring for my son and they will give me a home my ex has finally agreed to do that as long as I carry on giving him the money till I move out with our son

OP’s posts: |
Starlight2345 Tue 05-Sep-17 16:08:28

I am not an expert but the RP is the parent they live with most. This is why you really do need proper advice .

Your age can have an impact on housing and HB... Which I know nothing about.

Penfold007 Tue 05-Sep-17 16:25:29

If the flat tenancy is in your name then it's your flat. Whilst you are in the flat caring for your son you simply change the locks and leave ExP's stuff in bags on the doorstep. Also as above speak to CAB and/or Shelter. Get your own bank account if you don't have one and have your benefits paid into that account. When he kicks off just call the police.

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