When do I tell my ex?

[Kelly95]

Hello all

I was with my ex for just over 3 years since I was 8 months pregnant with my eldest. He has always treated her like his own child and that didn't change when we had my son together.

He split up with me in June and started seeing someone else. It really hurt me and to cut a long story short I am now 9 weeks pregnant after a one night stand.

I know I am going to have to tell my ex sometime about the pregnancy but worry that it will affect how he treats the children and especially if it will change how he sees my eldest.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice?

Thanks

[HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips]

Was the one night stand with the ex or with a different person? I'd hold off telling him for a few months. It's not his business if it's not his child. What is your childcare situation like. How often does he see the two children etc.

[GriswaldFamilyVacation]

He sounds like a nice man, why would this pregnancy afffect his relationship with your first child? That's between your son and him and not to do with your relationship without ex (as that's already ended anyway).

Congratulations on your baby

[Kelly95]

Someone else who isn't still around. He has been seeing them once or twice a week since we split up

[Kelly95]

Griswald I just worry that because he isn't the biological father of my daughter that now I'm pregnant with a baby that has nothing to do with him he will decide he wants less to do with my eldest. I had major panics when I was pregnant with our son that he would lose interest in my eldest but to be fair to him he didn't seem to change

[GriswaldFamilyVacation]

If having his own biological child didn't change his feelings I can't see any reason why this child would. Obviously humans are strange and do strange things but it really wouldn't make much sense in this situation.

[Love51]

I wouldn't be in a rush to tell him, but probably would before the baby arrives. After 20 weeks and before 38. It will become apparent by then anyway!
(I tend to keep it quiet longer than most though so may not be a good measure.)

[Kelly95]

Thanks hope your right. Just dreading him finding out x

[Kelly95]

Love its tricky cos even though I don't want to tell him I think it would be worse if he found out from someone else

[HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips]

Do many other people know just yet? I'd wait until about 16/18 weeks.

[Kelly95]

Just my family and a couple of close friends x

[ourkidmolly]

Honestly, you're going to three kids now under 4 on your own. You've bigger problems than your ex's judgement. Prioritise those issues and forget his.