Hello everyone, I am new to this site and I have recently separated from my partner of over 10 years.
He announced 4 weeks ago that he was seeing someone else and wanted to separate. I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions over the last few weeks, but I am accepting that this is the decision he wants to make - and after the way he has been towards me this last few weeks, it's definately the right way forward.
There is so much I could say about him right now, but the main issue is that he is not accepting that the boundaries regarding the children, house etc have to change and I'm struggling to make him see.
He is currently living in a room at his mum's house around the corner from where we live (we moved here 2yrs ago due to be closer to his family). He came over on Tuesday night to see the boys whilst I went out to a fitness class. I had dinner prepared for the boys - he just needed to heat it up and give it to them - he fed the boys & ate some himself!
Thursday, same thing, dinner prepared for boys and this time he told me he ate it and said he hoped I didn't mind.
He wont remove the rest of his things from the house. The boys and I were away at the weekend and I told him it would be the perfect time as they were not here.
The boys had dinner at his Mum's (she asked) today and told me that he would bring them home. I told her that I would prefer it to be her that brings them and she agreed. Lo and behold he turned up, asked to come in, wanted a chat about nothing - all the questions had already been answered and then asked if he could pick the boys up in the morning instead of me dropping them off.
I had asked him not to contact me and to give me some space, unless it was about the children. I have several txts over the weekend and also he had rang the house phone when the boys and I got home yesterday from seeing my sister
I have no idea how to get through to him, that he needs to accept that he cannot see the boys everyday. He is having them overnight at his mums tomorrow, all day Wednesday and feeding them and he & his mother are accusing me of not allowing access to the boys - because I don't want him in the house.
I asked him if we could sit down, to sort out a schedule for the boys & to discuss how we're going to seperate financially - (I am the bread winner. I have no idea how he will afford anywhere separately & his mum has told him he has to leave). This is something he has been pushing for the last few weeks. His response - Take all the time you need, we don't need to rush to do it next week.
I apologise for rambling. I have no idea what I am asking for - maybe some advice from someone who has been through it as all my friends are married with newborns.
Thanks for reading this if you made it this far.
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Problems enforcing Boundaries - Ex
5 replies
RocketMummy86 · 24/07/2017 22:14
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