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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Just want

11 replies

pinkpixie83 · 22/07/2017 16:01

I just want someone who cares to wrap their arms around me and pretend it's all ok. But no there is no one.

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123456789ten · 22/07/2017 20:51

I can definitely relate to that feeling, Pinkpixie. Having one of those days myself. Don't think the rubbish wet weather on the first day of the hols is helping with my fed up mood. Sending you some cyber and and here's to tomorrow being a new day. I'd send you a cyber man too if there was an emoji for that!

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Floods123 · 22/07/2017 21:08

Oh my lovely there is someone in this world who is out there waiting for you and wanting the same. Take a deep breath and take the opportunity to look.

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UnaPalomaBlanca · 22/07/2017 21:18

It is SO lonely. I love a kiss from DS2 (9) and when he puts his arms around my neck. That feels nice for a short while...
But then you just have to keep on keepin on and you start to feel better.

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pinkpixie83 · 23/07/2017 07:20

I'm still going. Will always keep going.

Just had a hard couple of months and it's all built up on me, and with the added stress of the holidays and the kids refusing to spend time at their dads, I'm knackered.

Time to go again.

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DoraChance · 23/07/2017 07:38

I know what you mean OP, it's so hard isn't it. Lonely evenings are a struggle for me at the moment.

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2sCompany · 23/07/2017 07:39

as much as you love your kids, they're not grown up and they can't understand how you really feel. Everyone needs someone. I grew up with a single mum and it's only just hit me now, how bloody hard life is and how hard it was for her.

I'm sitting here alone, waiting for my 2 month old to wake up, then the rest of them. I love them all to pieces but it's so relentless being the main carer. You have to remember that every little achievement is a lot to do with you or because of your encouragement. It's exhausting but it's worth it.

What has happened in the last few months to make things worse?

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pinkpixie83 · 23/07/2017 07:40

Yeah and then when you dare to say something to friends about another night in with just you and the TV once the kids are in bed, they all say how wonderful it must be. I'm sure as a novelty it is but not every night!

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pinkpixie83 · 23/07/2017 07:43

Over the last few months I've had an infected cyst, a bad fall which resulted in stitches in my knee, the kids school is messing us around. Plus since march the kids have been trying to talk to their dad but he doesn't listen or does for a short while, but he's pushing them away they don't want to go, should have been there this weekend but they are only seeing him today, plus the week in the holidays he was having them had become 2 days! I want them to be happy but still, and it's an extra £150 I need to find for childcare.

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123456789ten · 25/07/2017 21:35

sounds like you're going through a rough patch Pinkpixie. Your kids will appreciate all you've done for them when they are older. The one thing I comfort myself with as a lone parent is that I really do find many of us have an incredibly close bond with our kids. I remember even envying a friend with a single parent when I was a teenager as she and her Mum got on so well.

How is your week going? Did you manage to call a favour or have you had to fork out the extra £150 for childcare?

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pinkpixie83 · 27/07/2017 17:06

They went to their dads for two days and he brought them home telling me he'd lost my youngest in the forest for half hour!

I've had to fine the money for childcare but I'll manage we have to don't we.

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2sCompany · 27/07/2017 22:58

Sorry, not been back sooner, hectic first week of the holidays with 4! ... pink you're doing brilliantly and one day your children will be older and wiser and realise for themselves who was there for them and who wasn't. You won't even need to say anything because they will figure it out for themselves. How old are they?

Your ex sounds like an arse and I would be very tempted to say either he's there when he says he will be or he's not there at all. But you don't want him to turn it around and blame you for cutting him off when the kids are older. In my case, my mum gave that ultimatum to my dad and we never saw him again. Same with my eldest daughter and her dad (history repeats itself). I've never bad mouthed him to her, just let her make her own mind up.

Yeah and then when you dare to say something to friends about another night in with just you and the TV once the kids are in bed, they all say how wonderful it must be. I'm sure as a novelty it is but not every night!

Going back to that, people just don't understand how isolating it is. Yes, it's great to see your children going to bed happy because of you and know that you're doing a good job. Yes, it's nice to collapse on your sofa and watch whatever you want on tv when they're in bed. But... sometimes you want to collapse into someone else's arms. Not even talk necessarily, just know there's someone there for you, that you're a person in your own right and not just a mum. Sometimes you just need someone else to take a little bit of the weight off your shoulders, just for a while.

I don't have an answer for you. I've given up on love and relationships I'm afraid! I just want you to know you're not alone in how you feel. I get it.

Hope you're doing ok. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk / compare notes!

You're doing a great job, remember that x

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