Birth Certificate

[nicolalavender355]

To cut a long story short (ish) I have a 19 month old son - although loved he wasnt planed and his dad and i have never been in a realationship but we do have a very good friendship. Dad comes to see his son once a month and whenever he can inbetween. Dad isn't on the Birth Cert and i'd like him to be. I've offered to put him on and he wants to talk about it face to face. i just know he isn't going to be keen. REALLY frustrates me. I know it might not be the most importnat thing in the world, but what if something happened to me and i died and he wasnt named. What possible reason would you NOT want to be on the son you love birth cert? am i wrong for wanting to add him? Unless he doesnt think he's the dad why would he not want to be on it? he doesnt pay for his child - i've always said i want his time not money, i've been very understanding. (he has an older daughhter) he's on her birth cert.

please help!! am i wrong for asking? we are yet to talk face to ace, i'd like to be armed with some good reason s why he should go on. x
Thanks x

[AnguaResurgam]

You need to make/update your will, and nominate him as guardian. It's worth taking advice from a solicitor or establish will-writer, to ensure your wishes are properly expressed.

[Starlight2345]

I am not sure why you are pushing it..

Someone coming to see your DS once a month does not sounds someone very involved..

My guess is he is concerned you will be going for Cms..The fact he doesn't pay for anything..
This does not strike me as someone who wants to be heavily involved in his DS's life. More meeting his obligtion

I

[nicolalavender355]

I guess it's important because deep down I know he is just filling an obligation and that breaks my heart a little he lives an hour away and just one weekend a month isn't good enough. I'm too chicken to tell him but I should. He's never offered me money or even brought anything for our boy. Not even a birthday card.
Think you've made me wake up and realise my little lad deserves better.

[corlan]

It sounds like he wants very minimal involvement in your son's life. Putting him on the birth certificate will make no difference to this, but it could cause you and your son problems further down the line.I would think very carefully about having him put on the birth certificate, especially if you have strong doubts that he will be involved in your son's life in the long term.
Money is a separate issue.There is no reason on earth why any decent human being would not want to financially support their child. He is taking the piss unfortunately.

[eyebrowsonfleek]

He may think that being on the certificate is the first step to claiming money off him. (You can claim money from him without him being on there btw)

Once a month is very little contact. My kids have 24 hours a fortnight plus a 2 week summer holiday and it's extremely lacking. I think that if something happened to me, they wouldn't want to live with ex as they barely know him.

[Starlight2345]

If you think he doesn't want to be involved them absolutely do not even encourage it..

Every child does deserve to know who there father is but it does not have to be on a birth certificate.. Fathers on birth certificate have automatic PR which can make life more complicated.

I do think would he even want your DS or would you want him there is something happened to you.

[C0untDucku1a]

Cms. He should be paying towards the upbringing of his child. Dont push outting him on the bc.